It gives me pause.

You can find me at FGHart.com

2011-08-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

It's not that I don't love my oasis, because I do. It's still my favorite place to pause, putting everything else on the back burner. Whether I'm sitting in a lounge chair or lounging in the pool, sipping water, wine or gin, whether I'm bent over a troublesome set of grass roots buried deep beneath the soil and mulch of a flower bed, or whether I'm dining at the bar (outdoor kitchen), this is our own slice of paradise. A staycation getaway always waiting for me, just outside my back door. In fact, I can see the western edge from where I sit now, at my writing desk.

Rather than gardens with plants that need tending, my aspirations of writer-dom require me to focus on platform and presence and networks that need attention in order to bloom and grow. Damn. However, this blog will not necessarily die on the vine (as alluded to in this post), but, perhaps instead, this will be my secret garden. A respite for all of the thoughts and images that whirl and shake, eager to be released on the unsuspecting world.

Before and After: a room make over

2011-02-21T16:31:00.002-08:00

Before: For the last few years this room has been a catch-all for kid toys. A lot of emotion was kept hidden behind the closed door and the in the dresser drawers. When daughter #2 moved out we painted the black and red walls a nice neutral color and gave the room a fresh start. Then daughter #1 and our grandson stayed a while. When they left, well...let's just say "it was hard." So the room has been a place for the occasional visitor but not much more than that.

With the pressure of a pending visit from a Faith Alive team, I felt compelled to do something about the room.

After: The visitors will be here Friday. I'm reframing the circus pictures (shown leaning against the wall in the first "before" photo) but I'm holding out for Hobby Lobby's half-price sale of their frames. Somebody should tell me it's worth the $50 to finish the room by Friday. Until then, this is how it's looking:
New sheers ($62). New lamps (set of 3 = $70). New "used" bedside table ($25).

I'm going to put a bigger plant in front of the window (above).

And maybe a chair or something in front of the plug (above).

Art will definitely help. That and a mirror. And maybe a floor vase with some feather grass or some such.

Although I'm not finished, at least I don't mind have company!

Before and After: a room make over

2011-02-21T16:31:00.001-08:00

Before, this room has been a catch-all for kid toys. A lot of emotion was kept hidden behind the closed door and the in the dresser drawers. When daughter #2 moved out we painted the black and red walls a nice neutral color and gave the room a fresh start. Then daughter #1 and our grandson stayed a while. When they left, well...let's just say "it was hard." So the room has been a place for the occasional visitor but not much more than that.

With the pressure of a pending visit from a Faith Alive team, I felt compelled to do something about the room.

The visitors will be here Friday. I'm reframing the circus pictures but I'm holding out for Hobby Lobby's half-price sale of their frames. Somebody should tell me it's worth the $50 to finish the room by Friday. Until then, this is how it's looking.

I'm going to put a bigger plant in front of the window (above).

And maybe a chair or something in front of the plug (above).

Art will definitely help. That and a mirror. And maybe a floor vase with some feather grass or some such.

Although I'm not finished, at least I don't mind have company!

Practice, practice, practice...and the benefits of regular exercise

2011-01-29T07:06:00.000-08:00

If you've followed my exercise saga you know that last year I transitioned from Richard Simmons to Wii Fit Plus to power-walking/jogging/running and ultimately to the P90X workout regimen. Then, in September, an injury and subsequent tumble off the exercise-wagon gave me a bad case of couchpotatoitis. Travel and holidays and conflicting demands on my time, as well as a reluctance to dive back into the P90X all-out time commitment, contributed to my putting off any serious renewal of an exercise routine.

This year, my workout efforts are stumbling along in fits and starts; an hour here, 30 minutes there. As part of my 3 Words for 2011 and my goals defined for this year I decided that 4 hours per week should be sufficient to move me toward my fitness goals and to maintain some balance in my life. This week (the last week in January) is the first time I've met the 4-hour goal.

I know P90X is a great way to get in shape (such as the notable P90X devotee in congress that a friend highlighted for me). I know I was making fabulous progress toward my goals when I was exercising an hour to an hour and a half every day and strictly adhering to the P90X routine, but the trade-offs were high. I sacrificed the time available for reading & writing and that's not acceptable. But sitting around on an expanding tush isn't acceptable either.

Just as November's novel-writing effort required tremendous determination to push through the resistance of inertia brought on by a long spell of not writing, getting back into the swing of writing & exercising and having the discipline to set my own routine for reading, writing and using the P90X workouts is requiring determination. But I am not giving up. I will stick with my goals and commitments. I will practice discipline and I will benefit.

Viva Las Vegas!

2011-01-01T18:19:00.000-08:00

I started out embedding photos, then decided to go for the gusto in true Vegas style. Here's a video montage of sights and sites from our four-day stay in Las Vegas.

Still working on finding balance

2010-12-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

This weekend has been incredible. I can't remember the last time I managed to get so much done in the space of 2 days. I'm quite sure that managing myself through a to-do list is a large part of what got me here ("here" being "exhausted and ready for bed at 10pm Sunday night").

Confession: I'm still working on Day2 of the to-do list. I couldn't get everything done. I did get *most* of it done, though.

Truth be told, I'm satisfied with what I've accomplished. I'm delighted to sit in my clean office. It's so much more relaxing than the engulfed-in-clutter condition it was in. Ditto for my bedroom. Feng shui is a marvelous lifestyle.

But...I didn't exercise at all this weekend. Despite writing "go for a run" on both days of my 2 days of to-do's, I did not go for a run.

I've cleaned house, read, practiced piano, invested in some Bible-study, done laundry, gone to church, written blog posts, commented on other blogs (could've/should've/would've done more of that) and spent effort cleaning up our sunroom. Oddly (or maybe not, considering the amount of bending, lifting, trotting up/down stairs, etc), I'm sore as if I'd exercised. But I didn't actually exercise. So...this week I vow to get in at least 3 workouts.

For now, I'll bask in the afterglow of what I did accomplish this weekend. Here are the before/after photos of the sunroom. Yes, darkness fell while I was working. In the morning, I'll be able to enjoy my quiet/prayer time here. Alabaster is setting a fine example (on the ottoman) in the "after" photo.

In Pursuit of Balance and escape from the 10 pound yoyo

2010-12-02T05:17:00.000-08:00

In the 6 weeks since my last post (the post where I mentioned my need for balance in my life), I've absolutely failed at finding balance. But I've succeeded in my efforts to swing the pendulum. The trick now will be to land in place where I *can* find balance.

My vacation injury in mid-September benched me from most forms of exercise and I had to absolutely cease and desist from my daily P90X workouts. In October I got back off my duff and started a daily regimen of crunches and push-ups (not a lot, mind you, but something). Then in November, I actually put on my running shoes and put a mile-plus in, despite the fact that it was dark and cold out. Then I proceeded to spend the next week coughing and sniffling, which may or may not have been a result of the run.

On November 20th I celebrated my birthday by getting up at the crack of dawn and running in my 3rd 5K. This was the second time I'd run since my injury. Also, pretty much the 2nd real workout.

And I've gone for all of one run since then. So that's 3 runs in the month of November. After the daily discipline of P90X, I think "balance" should mean several work-outs per week (not per month). Somewhere along the way I quit the 5 minutes of crunches and pushups so really, those 3 runs are just about it.

It's not like I wasn't busy. You can read here to find out how I spent my time last month. But football games, eating out, Thanksgiving feasts, etc. combined with the lack of aerobics have taken their toll and I'm sad to see that I've regained ALL of the weight I'd lost since shaking off my couch-potato ways. In my battle with the bulge the enemy has regained a lot of territory.

If you know me, you know I'm no quitter. I may have addictive tendencies (ahem) to say the least, and I may have a propensity to take things to the extreme (ahem) but I'm going to try to work those to my favor and commit myself to defining (and maintaining) boundaries that provide balance in my life. Balance between working, writing, working out, playing piano, reading...I can do this. I know I can. I shall be extreme in my determination to not let any one area dominate my life.

Cheers!

9 weeks of P90X + 3 weeks of inactivity = square one

2010-10-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

For those who've never tried it, the P90X commitment is not to be taken lightly. The workouts take anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half (if you're doing the "Ab Ripper" workout after weights). The routine varies between weights and aerobics, yoga, stretching and kenpo (my favorite). There is daily variation and weekly variation and the whole program is nothing short of intense.

My last post was 6 days in to the 90 day commitment. I started right after the 4th of July weekend.

A month after I started my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with a beautiful ceremony/reception. Preparation for that consumed plenty of time and energy. Around that time my beloved husband gave me a new used piano, which introduced a new discipline of 30-minutes-a-day of piano practice into my already busy routine.

In mid-August I spent a week in Taiwan on a business trip. In mid-September my husband and I spent a week in Hawaii on our "honeymoon" vacation. On the last afternoon of our vacation I slipped on a lava rock and sliced open my toe, requiring 6 stitches and a hiatus from my workout routine. I couldn't risk pulling the wound open. Although I'd diligently maintained my workout discipline throughout all of the demands of life, work and travel I suddenly found myself "grounded."

That was September 23rd, the end of my first week of inactivity (vacation). The slice on the bottom of my foot restricted my walking to a slow limping pace, which further slowed me down. Yes, maybe there were some things I could still do but I'd lost my momentum. It's amazing how quickly things unwind. This week I started with some baby steps - push-ups on my knees (so I don't flex my torn toe), crunches, a few wall squats. It's depressing to realize how quickly the flab returned. And I look back and realize how much time flew by while I was busybusybusy with exercise, piano, reading, etc. But not writing.

So, no "after" photos yet of the great beachbody the P90X routine is supposed to yield. I'm not sure how I'll tally the time devoted given the on-again off-again nature of this effort. I'm not sure I want to go back to the 7-day-a-week regimen. I definitely do NOT want to give up completely on the exercise. Maybe there's a happy medium because one thing I DO want is to find time to write again.

When I get back on my feet (or rather the balls of my toes) I will be seeking balance, and not just through yoga training.

Ni Hao, Taipei

2010-10-15T19:24:00.000-07:00

I’ve been in Taipei since Tuesday. I’m finally feeling caught up on my sleep and relatively past the jetlag of the westbound journey. I left Austin Sunday evening and arrived in Taipei at about 6:30 am Tuesday. There’s a 13 hour time difference so it was Monday evening back in Austin. Yes, the commute generally takes 20-24 hours including the layover at LAX and the 14hr leg between LA and Taipei. I was desperately looking forward to a shower/change at the hotel. What I wasn’t looking forward to was the unexpected 2 hour wait for the hotel to get my room ready. I spent most of that time napping on a sofa in the lobby while the businessmen came and went, arriving in dribbles and leaving in waves as they boarded their respective shuttles on the half-hour. I’d snap awake from a dose realizing I was in the thick of a throng of mandarin-speaking suits.

The hotel gave me a breakfast pass and after much encouragement I finally went to the buffet but alas, my tummy was not of a mind to dine. I settled for some cream of mushroom soup, which was actually quite good. What I really needed was a nap. And a blessed shower and change of clothes.

Fast-forward a few hours and I’m in the office feeling fresh as a daisy. Wait…no. I did make it to the office but my stomach was gnarly and rebellious so I after about 30 minutes I went back to the hotel and slept almost solid (woke for a quick "phone home" on Oovoo) through til the next morning.

I’ve not found any magic formulas for survival but I do know that daily yogurt, plenty of sleep and exercise are keys to success. Unfortunately I’m not getting much exercise (see my last post) but I’m doing okay on the other fronts. The last two nights I’ve gotten about 6 hours of sleep versus the tossing and turning that had been going on. What a difference!

I’ve been a slacker on the photo-taking but I did snap one shot of the soup I had for dinner via room service Wednesday night. Beef noodle soup is a staple for me here. I wish I’d gotten a pic of the soup I had for dinner at the food court near my Taipei office on Thursday. It was black. The locals refer to it as “herbal” or “good health” soup. No one can tell me what’s in it. Well, other than the black chicken that is. Why is it black? What’s behind that dark, almost burnt taste? Are those two attributes related? This remains a mystery.

Last night I enjoyed a happy hour buffet celebration with the Program Management team. The food was awesome. Although there was no English to identify the food, there were enough choices that I was able to stick with things I recognized and they were all over-the-top delicious. And there was plenty of Taiwan beer for everyone. I also had my share of watermelon juice.

Which brings me to this morning. I had the opportunity to spend the day at the National Palace Museum but opted instead for a day of R&R, which includes some long overdue blog posts and a walk to the park where I’ll enjoy reading Camille DeAngelis’ Petty Magic. As soon as I finish here, I'm off to be there.

Zai Jian!

Before, Really Before and Really, Really Before

2010-07-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

Maybe it was quitting smoking (June 10, 2004) or maybe it was my hysterectomy (May, 2007?I think) but somehow weight began to creep up on me in a big way.

Here are photos from December, 2008:

I realized something had to change so I renewed my relationship with Richard Simmons. For a year, I worked out 3-4 times per week. By the end of the year I was doubling my workout, which pushed the aerobics up to almost 30 minutes. But really, the results were not so remarkable.

Here I am in December, 2009:
I had to buy larger pants for the trip to China. None of my clothes fit.

For Christmas I gave myself a Wii Fit Plus and began working out daily. I introduced yoga, strength training and of course, aerobics. I definitely enjoyed the Wii as a fun way to get off my booty and get moving. But...the results were not remarkable. Here I am in March, 2010:
Now, I'm taking it to the next level. If you've been following this blog you know I graduated to running and ran my first marathon in June. Running has been great, but it's hard on my joints. A friend convinced me to try the P90X. Here are my "before" photos from earlier this week:

Admittedly, I had to rotate the photos, which (I swear) makes me look more squat than I am. But hey! These are "before" photos, so what the heck. I can say that the jeans I was wearing in March are now way too big for me.

Here I am in all of my honest, soul-bearing glory. I'll post another set of photos of myself in 84 more days..."after".

Peace,

My first 5k is behind me

2010-06-23T07:14:00.000-07:00

Here we are (Saturday June 19), having just finished Vern's No Frills 5k. My hubby surprised me by running most of the way. He finished about a minute ahead of Sherie (my coach and friend) and me.

I'm proud of my results, finishing 5k in about 38 1/2 minutes. We ran a pretty steady race for the first 2 miles. We ran most of the last mile (one short little walk). I said "Oh my goodness!" about 50 times and Sherie reassured me every time that I could do it. For the last stretch she coached me as though I were swimming. I raced as a swimmer from the age of 6 to 16 so it was very effective to talk to me in terms of 50m laps in an individual medley.

This marks a major milestone and is a reflection of tremendous progress since investing in the Wii Fit Plus back in December.

Striking

2010-06-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when we're driving along...I'm moved to pull out my camera and capture the view. Amen.

Finally, the Outdoor Kitchen!

2010-06-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time we had a dream. That dream began the day we saw our home for the first time. We'd only looked at about 100 homes, flying into neighborhoods like a blitzkrieg; reviewing 3-6 homes then moving on to another 'hood. This was back in '05. Finally we hit a neighborhood we liked but hubby insisted if we couldn't live near the lake then we must have a pool. All of the houses with pools were nixed for one reason or another.

We regrouped and told our realtor to find a house with potential for a pool. When we walked into this house, I knew immediately I was home...mostly because the interior paint worked well for all of our furniture. When my husband walked through the back door into the backyard, he knew we were home. The backyard was a canvas. Nothing but lawn and a few trees. We envisioned a pool, a pond, an outdoor living space that would become an extension of the house.

In the first year, we installed the pool & pond. This year we finally took it to the next level. After saving and planning, dreaming and strategically purchasing appliances we committed to build an outdoor kitchen.

Things started out well enough. We hired a contractor and provided detailed plans as well as all of the pre-purchased appliances. "This should only take a few weeks" the contractor committed. A few weeks into the project it was clear we were in trouble. Not only was the schedule blown, but the contractor hadn't followed the plan and hadn't bother measuring the hardware we'd purchased. The countertop was undercut, the rock veneer stuck out further than the counter. The drawer height wasn't accounted for. One of the counters drooped - at least 1/2" in the center. The tiles weren't put on per the well-known well-published (via HGTV and other DIY programs) guidelines, leaving them uneven. And day after day, the contractor neglected to show up. Finally, my wonderful husband took over. He is awesome! He tore out all of the faulty parts and began reconstruction. After 4 days of considering options (and the crappy work), my husband made his decision. He gave the contractor a second chance. "Fix it or pack your things and go". The contractor committed to fix it. But...after contributing to a day of deconstruction he no-showed for a few days. Hubby stayed busy and the kitchen began to take shape. By the time he heard from the contractor again ("I'm ready to buy new countertop material!") my husband was rocking and rolling on his own. He told the contractor to pick his equipment up. Done. He enlisted our son (and in a pinch a friend had to come help lift the countertop material). Progress, finally!In the background, a charcoal grill bears witness to the stop-gap measures. Night vision! With the lighting we should be able to operate well into the night. I'm looking forward to breaking her in this week. Let the parties begin!

We have a winner!

2010-06-06T19:47:00.000-07:00

My Darling Hubby and I are going to participate in a 5K! Vern's No Frills 5K in Georgetown. He's walking. I'm running (and walking). He says he will keep up with me. Humph. We'll see.

We'll be joined by friends. I'm really looking forward to this!!! The "race" starts at 8am. Given the current weather, it will probably be hot and muggy already by then.

My current best rate is 4.5 mph. OK, folks. Look out! I'm in training.

"5K" anyone?

2010-05-25T04:50:00.001-07:00

If someone had told me at the first of the year that I'd be considering running in a 5K before the year was half over I'd have said "5K"? Or something equally witty because seriously, it would have been beyond reason to even imagine such a thing. Now I'm not only imagining it, I'm actively researching my options and looking for the lucky winner of my first 5K entry. Runtex offers quite a variety and that's only a start.

Last summer I swam laps (our pool is a 33' lap lane), dreaming of the day I might participate in a Danskin relay (swimming, of course). I often joked that I wasn't a triathlete, I was a uni-athlete. I don't run and I don't bike. But it turns out I do run and I can certainly ride a bike. So maybe after I finish my first 5K I'll look into my options for a triathlon.

It turns out, Austin is filled with fitness-fiends. I'm just one of a crowd. And I'm really looking forward to experiencing this milestone. I've come a long way, baby.

Ye Ol' Medicine Ball

2010-05-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

I've let my runs dominate my workouts. This morning I reintroduced Gin Miller's medicine ball (Power Abs) workout. Whew!

That was a nice change of pace.

The workout takes a little over 30 minutes. I'm working out with a 10 pound medicine ball.

Worst run ever

2010-05-18T09:03:00.001-07:00

I've been consistently running 3-4 times a week. My "jogs" take me on a 2.5 mile circuit of my neighborhood. I'm averaging a pace of about 4 miles per hour. My endurance is improving. My pace is improving – I shave time off with each successive run. I'm finding running more rewarding than lifting weights or other forms of exercise. But yesterday's effort will go down in history as my worst ever. I need to remember to check the weather before I take off.

It started out as well as any run. I warmed up with a 1 minute walk then broke into a jog which loosened and improved as I warmed up and got into the zone. At about ¾ of a mile the wind picked up and the weather appeared to be quite threatening. Dark storm clouds were rolling in and I realized I might get caught in rain. I decided to head home at the mile mark rather than run the extra mile on the other side of the neighborhood.

I knew I could adjust my run to make up the distance while staying closer to home. What I didn't expect was that I should have been wearing protective goggles. With the wind, there was a lot of debris. As I innocently planned a new route, I came under attack. Something got in my eye. It could have been a grain of sand/dirt or a leaf for all I know. It felt huge, yet I couldn't seem to get it out. Of course I didn't stop running, that would have been silly.

So I ran with one eye closed, tears streaming down my face. Finally, as I reached the end of the first mile, I gave up and walked while trying to get the "something" out of my eye. I thought about knocking on a door. I thought about just walking up to a car in a driveway and using their side-view mirror (some objects are closer than they appear). I imagined my cornea getting scratched up while I rubbed on my eye. I imagined a trip to the emergency room to get the twig out of my eye. I didn't have to imagine the horrible pain I was feeling.

So I walked most of the ½ mile home.

When I got home I looked for all I was worth but I couldn't find the log that was in my eye. I put in eye drops. Lay down for a while. Looked again. Tried not to rub my eye. Rubbed my eye. Looked again. Eventually the tree or boulder that was in my eye came out. I never did figure out what was in there. Of course, by this time I was exhausted.

And so ended what I hope will remain on record as the worst run ever.

Graduation

2010-04-23T11:13:00.001-07:00

Way back when, shortly after Christmas, I began a delightful (but slow) journey into fitness. My regimen of workouts evolved from playing around on the Wii Fit Plus to getting serious about exercise. Initially, although I was putting in at least 30 minutes per workout and working out at least 5 days per week, I lacked focus. By the end of February I was developing focus. I was consistently working out a minimum of 30 minutes of aerobic and up to an hour and a half of aerobic/strength training exercises. I also introduced yoga into my Wii workouts.

On top of that, once a week I joined a friend for a brisk 3 mile walk (taking a little under an hour). By the end of March I was feeling pretty good about myself, and I boldly began to jog a bit during my walks. I even joined my friend and her husband on a 7 mile bike ride (which exercised a completely different set of muscles, causing my glutes to ache for almost 2 weeks).

I also introduced a medicine ball workout which greatly taxed my abs/upper body. This was complimented by a twice-weekly arm/chest/upper-body workout with dumbbells.

By mid April I was jogging more than walking and the inviting Spring weather allowed this to be my predominant exercise. I truly felt as though I'd graduated from the Wii.

Then the Spring weather invited more than outdoor exercise. Austin is blanketed with the yellowish dust of Oak pollen. The wet weather fosters a bloom of mold, as well. I haven't worked out for a week as I've struggled with chest congestion and a chronic cough brought on by my allergies.

Hopefully I'll be back in action soon. I'm missing my workouts!

Wii Fit Plus and more

2010-01-24T18:55:00.001-08:00

For Christmas we gave ourselves the Wii Fit Plus. It totally rocks. And it is well worth the investment.

We're almost 4 weeks into our Wii Fit adventure and I'm definitely an advocate for this device. We'd play Wii Sports before but it's nothing compared to this. It's like playing a video game that requires you to engage physically. And it tracks your exercise history, graphing it all out. Breaking out aerobic vs. Yoga vs. strength training, etc. I've also taken walking up a notch. At least once a week I've gone on a power-walk (2-3 miles at 3-4 mph).

Next step is more focus on diet. But I'm already reaping the benefits of the additional exercise so I consider this last bit "tuning." And self-control.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

2009-12-30T15:24:00.000-08:00

...well, Christmas Eve, anyway. Late afternoon. And windy as all get-out. So windy two of our patio chairs blew into the pond. Yes, the pond is a tad green, but that's to make up for how brown the yard is. It'll all even back out in the Spring.

Merry Christmas!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2009-12-19T08:03:00.000-08:00

While I was in China for two weeks, Christmas snuck up on us. We had a dinner party at our house the day after I got back home. Fortunately my husband is wonderful and he spruced the house up and did a decent job with the decorations. Dear Cha Cha opened her house and heart to the world, posting a home tour and inviting others to also share. Here are a few scenes from the Hart household.

"Old Dogs" - Movie Review

2009-11-21T16:26:00.000-08:00

Old Dogs is a great movie to see if you're looking for some casual entertainment. I'd recommend it for date night and/or for family night. It's the kind of movie that is best enjoyed if you can suspend disbelief and just go with it. It's better if you don't question things like the short-notice ability of two 50+ year old single businessmen to come up with scouting outfits for themselves and their young charges (who come to visit with only one small suitcase apiece).

John Travolta and Robin Williams seem to enjoy themselves in their roles - business partners who are suddenly responsible for a pair of 7 year old twins. These two belie the adage that you can't teach old dogs new tricks. Both experience significant personal growth during the month of their lives the movie covers.

For the most part the comedy is low brow, with the usual fare of farts and groin-racking incidents. There are plenty of pratfalls, which will make you wince if you're over 40. I believe Robin when he complains that he has bad knees.

John and Robin are repeatedly mistaken for the twin's grandparents and are also repeatedly mistaken as being a couple (such as when Robin introduces John as "his partner" - the natural assumption is personalpartners rather than professional). Fortunately, they're able to take all of this in stride with self-deprecating good humor.

I would have preferred the movie not waste time on offshoot tales, such as spray-tans gone wrong (Robin in a tanning booth getting over-done while John is hitting on the negligent attendant) or other irrelevant side stories (a tattoo that requires the shaving of Robin's chest hair) to allow for more character development. The romance between Robin and the twins' mother "Vicki" might have been more believable if we'd been allowed more opportunity to understand her motives and interests.

Some of the humor might have been a little over-the-top, but many scenes had the entire theater heartily laughing. It was nice to see Robin and John poke a little fun at themselves and each other; that certainly added to my enjoyment of the movie. I'm really glad they didn't try to ignore the very real age gap. Robin and John's chagrin at being mistaken as grandparents may have humored me even more because I'm a grandparent.

If you're looking for a movie that is lighthearted, relatively inoffensive and effectively mindless in its storyline and humor, I recommend Old Dogs. It's not meant to be an intellectual movie; it's simply a fun opportunity to share some laughs.

Where did the time go?

2009-11-17T04:44:00.000-08:00

In October I started writing a book on parenting and our relationship with God. It's not a how-to book by any stretch of the imagination. It's just my musings on these topics. It reads a lot like posts I put on my other blog. It's nothing like the posts I put on this blog, which seem to be mostly about the things my cat drags in.

I was plodding along through my life, bemoaning all of the challenges and difficulties and wishing I could write full time. As much as my job motivates me to do something else, the regular pay outweighs quite a lot of the challenges and difficulties. I prayed about the situation regularly.

Then a couple of things happened at once. Guideposts agreed to publish my 2nd story (March issue). And NaNoWriMo crossed my radar. Who wouldn't want to write a novel? I joined over 150,000 other aspiring novelists in the ambitious goal of penning (keyboarding?) 50,000 words beginning November 1st and finishing (and posting the completed work) before midnight on November 30th.

Because I'm an overachiever ... and because I'm leaving for China on November 30th, I set a personal goal to finish by November 20th. Which happens to be my 45th birthday.

Even though I could feel guilty about abandoning my blogs and allowing them to fall to the wayside while I plunge into writing as a part-time job rather than the hobby it's been for the last year or so, I don't. I'm proud of myself for finally getting off my butt (or rather sitting my butt down!) and acting on a dream. God willing, this dream will become my life.

So if you happen by this blog and wonder whatever happened to the woman who used to live here, I ask that you give me a little time because this turn in my life is requiring both hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road.

"The One That Got Away"

2009-10-19T05:42:00.000-07:00

Fortunately, by the time I found the feathers spread out across my bedroom floor, I already knew this one had a happy ending... relatively speaking anyway.

Occasionally when we're away the house is locked up but the sunroom door gets left open. This means that Al, the killer cat, can come and go with access to the outside world. Not such a good idea.

When I got home from a Saturday afternoon outing, I could hear Al upstairs meowing away. I followed the sound to my office where I found him hovering over a poor little baby bird. I quickly grabbed a washcloth from the nearest bathroom and used it to carefully envelop the bird and whisk the terrorized little guy to safety. I released it in our front yard in the hedges. Based on its hasty retreat, it didn't appear to be harmed.

Shortly after, I found the feathers all over my bedroom floor. Given my focus, I didn't have time to take a photo of the victim. I was able to snap this image at my leisure. I give you "The One That Got Away".

Then Sings My Soul: "Motions" by Matthew West

2009-10-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

I continue to pull the wheel to the right. I'm not making a right angle turn but a big sweeping curve. No matter what I do in this life, I want to do it filled with God's passion. Blessed by the Spirit. Never let it be said I'm just going through the motions.

Movie Review: "Couples Retreat"

2009-10-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

"Couples Retreat" is a romantic comedy written by (and starring) Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn. Jason Bateman and Faizon Love complete the cast of husbands. We're introduced to four couples in various stages of relationship. Shane (Love) and his girlfriend Trudy (Kali Hawk) have dated for a few weeks as he is on the rebound from his recent divorce from Jennifer (Tasha Smith). Joey (Favreau)and his wife Lucy (Kristin Davis) seem to barely tolerate each other's company and are clearly heading for separation or divorce. Dave (Vaughn) and wife Ronnie (Malin Akerman) will resonate with most couples with young children - life is busy, hectic and often tense as all of life's "little decisions" must be made during every stolen moment. Jason (Bateman) and Cynthia (Kristen Bell) seem like a loving couple, but the tension of unsuccessfully conceiving a child have made them question their ability to be together. They are the catalyst for eventual journey to Eden, a gorgeous island resort for marriage counseling. Although initially billed as optional, it turns out the scheduled activities are anything but. And on the other side of the lagoon? A singles club swings with lights and action.

It was nice to enjoy a comedy that didn't include all of the funny clips in the trailer. This is a great date-night movie: crude enough for him, romantic enough for her.

Then Sings My Soul: Undo by Rush of Fools

2009-10-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

This is a daily prayer for me! It's so easy to stray. So challenging to stay close to You, God, while trying to grow into what You want me to become. Thank you, Lord, for your patience and persistence in bringing me back to the place of forgiveness and grace.

Undo
by Rush of Fools

I've been here before
Now, here I am again
Standing at the door
Praying You'll let me back in

To label me
A prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who Ive been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one
Who can undo what I've become

I focused on the score
But I could never win
Trying to ignore
A life of hiding my sin

To label me
A hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who I've been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I cant do this myself
You're the only one
Who can undo what Ive become

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what Ive become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
You are the only one who can undo
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become

My first book review: Carter Beats the Devil

2009-09-23T17:18:00.000-07:00

Carter beats the rap, the odds, the competition and wins the girl...twice

Although initially daunted by the length of "Carter Beats the Devil," the novel came highly recommended so I committed to include it in my summer reading material. At over 650 pages it was a little bulky for beach fare but perfect for my bedside table.

The characters are well-developed and engaging, which makes the tale easy to read in bursts. We follow Carter's story from childhood, when he is first introduced to magic, to his early days as a magician, through his career in a field that is secretive and competitive. Author Glen David Gold establishes the story in an era filled with historical references, including the presence of such characters as Houdini and President Warren G. Harding.

Woven throughout the tale of Carter's career are tales of courtship, romance, chivalry, danger and intrigue. Carter's first love blooms and grows despite his awkwardness. When disaster strikes, we mourn with Carter. When, later in life, Carter finds himself with the opportunity to love again we're compelled to cheer him on in his efforts at romance.

Carter is a man who consistently strives to do the right thing in every situation. Gold does him justice, developing Carter as a sympathetic character to be admired and supported, even when it appears he may have gone too far in pursuit of his next illusion. This is truly a tale well told.

Posted on Barnes & Noble's site, September 22, 2009, 10:42 AM EST

Oh Al, you shouldn't have!

2009-09-01T18:51:00.000-07:00

What a sweet cat! He knew it was my darling hubby's birthday so he brought him a gift.

"Happy Birthday! Here's the bird I brought you! I did nibble off the head while I was waiting for you to come find this treasure. Hope you don't mind!"

And I, because I love both my husband and the cat, I cleaned up the mess. I bagged the bird and vacuumed the feathers up. Even though I don't do dead animals - that's why I stay married. So HE can do dead animals. But I love him, and it was his birthday.

What the cat dragged in

2009-08-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

...at least I hope the cat's to blame. Otherwhise I'm wondering why so many snakes are finding their way inside. Last week, as I made my way through the house in the early light of the rising sun, I was startled to see this snake waiting impatiently by the front door. Hubby was just rising so I let him know of our unwelcome guest. he commented later that this had been one of the nastier house guests to date. Apparently the snake had tried repeatedly to take a bite out of my darling!
This morning, when hubby fished around in the bottom of the pantry for something he discovered yet another snake. This one was smaller, but just as fiesty. In case it wasn't fun enough to watch my darling catch a snake with the kitchen tongs, our priest called during the exercise (exorcism?). As I took this photo, hubby was telling our priest that I was taking a picture to put on the blog. Go figure. He knows me so well.

Then Sings My Soul - Stars, by Switchfoot

2009-08-15T12:08:00.000-07:00

I've been very introspective lately, pulled in many directions and exceptionally drawn inside myself. As an extrovert, it's very telling that I am longing for time alone. Every time an opportunity to spend time alone arises, something comes up that kaboshes my plans. This song is a nice reminder of our place in this great big glorious universe that God created. Whether we're alone or just wishing we were alone, we don't need to feel lonely. In the grand scheme of things, we are called to be our best, as God desires us to be.

Switchfoot - Stars (Official Music Video) - The best free videos are right here
Stars, by Switchfoot

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same

I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone,
Everyone you look so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself

Stars looking at a planet
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe start to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane
I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance
Of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent
Begin to look like home

I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you look so empty
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself.
Yeah!

Everyone, Everyone feels so lonely
Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself
When I look at the stars
The stars, I see someone...

Port Aransas fishing

2009-08-09T14:13:00.000-07:00

We arrived at Woody's just as dawn was breaking. Hubby's walking ahead of me, just about to turn around and tell me to hurry up! Actually, he gave me the same look he gives me when we go grocery shoppingn together. No words required. Our guide is one of the men standing on the dock, BS'ing with his compadres about the big fish that were just waiting for the mainlanders.

The excursion was a 6 hour adventure on a boat with no amenities. By "amenities" I mean "place to go potty" so we were very cautious with our water consumption. There was very little fishing if by "fishing" we mean "bringing fish onto the boat and putting them away for safekeeping". We threw back about 4 Red fish because they were too small. Another misnomer about the fishing trip - I never touched a single piece of bait and I never cast once, even though I know how. Apparently the goal of the guide is for you to catch your limit so he can hustle you back to the pier. Unfortunately for him, the fish weren't biting.

At the end of the day we had caught 1 Red fish that was big enough to keep and 3 Mango snappers. We had them for dinner last night with a tortilla chip breading and a mango-tequila dressing. Yum!

That's the man I married 24 years ago. He wasn't much of a chef back then, but he was a worthwhile investment. He, my friends, is a keeper.

At the beach

2009-08-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in a meeting, listening to folks squawk about things that have no bearing on my immediate desires. I'm reminded of trips to the beach when occasionally, inevitably, someone feels compelled to feed the seagulls.

I'm doing my best to ignore the yammering but I'm feeling the beginnings of a headache just the same. I wish I could wade out into the wake to let the crashing waves drown out the squawking.

Port Aransas, the home of Boggie Boogie Boards and Sandels Sandles Sandals

2009-08-04T05:39:00.000-07:00

The beach does not attract our most literate citizens, clearly. Considering the number of places that sell boogie boards and sandals, I was surprised by the number of places selling "boggie boards" and "sandels" and "sandles."

Just in case you're wondering, the patrons and staff at this particular shop had their swimsuits all the way on. Don't get excited.

Life & Death in the balance

2009-08-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

The most memorable tale of the trip to Port A is definitely the day I was dumped in the drink for an unexpected swim in the briny sea.

Hubby and I love to go treasure hunting on St. Joe's island. We've taken our jet ski over there and brought back wonderful finds that I lovingly refer to as "nautical artifacts". Rope, nets, buoys, all sorts of treasures. Hubby can tell great tales of the times he's transported large shrimp nets and 4" diameter ropes back to the harbor. The harbor where it's nice and safe, with calm waters. The gulf, however, is temperamental. We've had excursions that are relatively mild. We had to abort one mission last year when we tried to go out during the build-up to Hurricane Dolly. You'd think we'd have learned by now.

The lure of those treasures calls to us and so we brave the sea. Wednesday was calm. Hubby went skiing outside of the jetty into the gulf and had no trouble. Thursday, we headed out together (picture me hanging on behind my beloved). We should have checked the weather. The winds were high and the sea was choppy. Very choppy. Big waves. As we got close to the island, I lost my grip and was dumped off the jet ski into the gulf. I was already a little scared but it didn't take long to become a lot scared. I lost my glasses when I went into the water. I could see the floaty device (attached to the earpieces, but NOT properly tightened up behind my head) bobbing a short distance away but I could barely make any headway despite my best efforts. I snagged my glasses just as hubby circled back for me. There was no way I was going to be able to climb back on to the jet ski while being tossed about, so he towed me to shore. Not before I removed my swim shorts, which were sliding down my legs. I'm glad my swimsuit bottoms stayed on. Picture me clinging with both hands to the handle (just below the "HA" in "YAMAHA") stretched out behind as hubby made his way to shallow waters. If he went too slowly, he couldn't control the jet ski. If he went too quickly, I wouldn't have been able to hang on.

I should mention, being towed as I was my face was right by the exhaust so breathing challenges included wave and fume avoidance. Needless to say I got my share of both.

We made it shore and I was ready to leave immediately. It's hard to focus on treasure-hunting when you're busy kissing the sandy shore. Hubby puttered with anchoring the jet ski but settled for dragging it to shore. By the nature of the jet ski itself it's not a good idea to lug a huge anchor and our little anchor proved inadequate in the face of the pounding waves.

I'm not sure how long we spent actually treasure-hunting. Maybe 15 minutes. Hubby soon waved me over and said "I'm a little nervous about the jet ski." Have you ever stood on the shore with the waves are washing over your feet and you sink in to the sand? The jet ski was getting "dug in" as the waves were pulling sand out from under it.

Fortunately my heart had settled a bit and I was ready to go because when hubby says "I'm a little nervous" it means it's time for me to be fully alarmed.

Getting back on the jet ski in the rough water was no easy trick. At one point Hubby suggested I drive because we both needed to board instantaneously so he could start/accelerate the jet ski without getting tossed back off. He began giving me instructions on how to crest the waves, navigate the swells, etc. I agreed to get my butt on the jet ski a split-second behind him, no problem.

I won't bore you with the details of the long ride back to harbor. The jet ski had taken on a lot of water and the engine strained to push through wave after wave. I clung to hubby and considered our options if one or both of us were thrown off. I prayed and prayed, thanking God for His endless mercy. He's proven yet again, "God watches over fools and treasure-seekers."

Later that day I realized the jade bracelet I picked up in China, the one I wear so much I forget I have it on, the one I noticed as I was backing the jet ski off of the trailor into the safe, calm harbor waters thinking "it'll be okay, not worth the hassle of trying to get it to Hubby," yeah, it was gone. No doubt claimed by the sea. Its absence is a souvenir. A reminder. A reminder to be grateful for all that I've been given. A reminder to focus on what's important.

Thank you, Lord, for keeping this foolish treasure-seeker safe.

Here's a girl who's grateful to be alive, standing on the jetty with the calm, safe harbor waters behind her:

Here's a hint of the choppy waters (Mustang Island side of the jetty at dusk).

Life interrupted

2009-08-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

July was an interesting month, no doubt about it. Work consumed me. My joke has been that I'm working 2 shifts, and one is a split-shift. Conference calls with Taiwan beginning at 6am, 8am, 8pm, 10pm even 11pm at least 4 days per week. Then full days spent in the office in between. Relentless. On top of that, the overseas management team decided to schedule a trip to the US for the week of my planned vacation. A vacation I couldn't reschedule. They did the same thing for Spring Break - the big difference then, I didn't have plans to be anywhere (but I had plans for taking advantage of my teen son's availability). So, here I was again...looking at taking off when my coworkers were coming to town. Incredibly, I almost cancelled our vacation. I've learned that they don't take kindly to the American attitude towards vacations. Conversely, Taipei/China close down completely for national holidays so vacations are different for them.

So...I decided to take the vacation. I needed it. I deserve it. I recognize that I'm not going to do the team any good at all if I burn out. I prayed about it, cried about it, then finally talked to my Taiwanese boss and other Sr. Manager's at my ex-employer-now-customer and they all supported my decision! Hurray! Port A was on!

I'll try to dish out the highlights in doses rather than one monster post.

Something better than dead frogs

2009-07-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

Someone I love and respect has implied that I could do better than leave my moanings about dead critters as the top post indefinitely while I muddle through life's challenges. The last few weeks have been nothing but work, work, work. For a while there, it looked like my upcoming vacation would be canceled. That particular drama kept me worried and fretting for days until I worked things out. I needed a correction in my perspective. Along with the realization that I can take a vacation that is ill-timed, I got lots of kudos from people who matter.

In honor of my pending trip to the beach, I give you beach-pix.

Al, Please stop killing frogs

2009-07-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Yet another victim of the killer cat. I walked into my office and found this poor guy spread-eagle on the floor.

I reported the situation to my dear hubby but he was busy preparing dinner. I tried to ignore the corpse while I wrapped up a few work items before the long weekend, but when Al came back to play (and perhaps nibble) I couldn't take it. I disposed of the poor little dead thing on my own. {shudder}

Al, please...PLEASE stop killing frogs!

Al, you're wearing me out!

2009-06-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when I got home from work, I came into my office to put down my stuff and was greeted by Al (the killer cat) acting strange(r) and a mysterious fluttering noise. It didn't take me too long to pin down the source of the fluttering noise. A small bird was flying around my office. Back and forth he went, from his perch on the shelf and another perch on a picture frame. And Al? Complaining all the while. I went and fetched my charming and helpful hubby who clarified that when he looked for the bird, he was looking on the ground. It hadn't occurred to him that the bird had survived Al's attention.

So - he began the game of "catch the bird". The bird exited my office and went into the game room, eventually hiding in a window. He escaped my manly hunter-husband and flew across the room to rest on another picture frame. My studly hubby snuck up on him and caught the little birdy with his bare hands. Birdy was safely released after this brief, but action-packed drama.

Look at what the cat dragged in

2009-06-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

Al has been up to his usual mischief. This weekend he brought in his biggest catch yet. This snake is at least 5 feet long! Although he shows a bit of a nip on his skinny neck, he seemed to be holding up okay. Hubby released it into the wild behind our backyard. We wish him (or her) well.

Then Sings My Soul - More Love, More Power by Jeff Deyo

2009-06-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

This says it all for me today. I'm extremely tired at the end of a long week (2 weeks?). I had a lot of things I wanted to get done today but I've spent the bulk of the day revamping my other blog. Now that we're hitting the hottest time of day, it doesn't seem reasonable to start the yardwork, does it? If I do nothing else, I will worship You, LORD.

More Love, More Power
by Jeff Deyo

More love, more power
More of You in my life
More love, more power
More of You in my life

I will worship You with all of my heart
And I will worship You with all of my mind
And I will worship You with all of my strength
For you are my Lord
You are my Lord

More faith, more passion
More of You in my life
More faith, more passion
More of You in my life

I will worship You with all of my heart
And I will worship You with all of my mind
And I will worship You with all of my strength
For you are my Lord
You are my Lord

More love, more power
More of You in my life
More love, more power
More of You in my life

I will worship You with all of my heart
And I will worship You with all of my mind
And I will worship You with all of my strength
For you are my Lord
You are my Lord (2x)

Is Al disgusting or is it just me?

2009-06-20T11:37:00.001-07:00

Is this possibly part of the frog whose head was left in my closet? I don't think so but I'm not calling CSI to find out.

My crime scene photos are enough of a reflection into my fascination with all things morbid.

Happy Saturday, y'all.

Bluebonnets, a Texas tradition

2009-06-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

This image is actually from my archive. I couldn't stand to leave the froghead on "top" since I'm pretty lax in keeping this blog up-to-date.

Back in April, the bluebonnets bloomed. This is an annual event in these parts. The bluebonnet is our state flower and it grows wild in fields and along the Texas highways. On a trip to Houston a few months ago we were amused by all of the cars pulled over to take photos of loved ones amidst the beautiful blue flowers. Here are at least a dozen families in one field trying to snap that keepsake. Funnier were the people pulled onto the shoulder. The resulting image will belie the proximity to 70mph traffic. Ah, the beauty of photography and the magic of perception.

Al, please stop eating frogs.

2009-06-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's the head of a frog. And one limb. Laying on the floor in my closet.

Take a closer look. Just the head here. The special-effects required to fake something this gross are beyond my capability. I am capable of taking a close-up of a disembodied froghead, though.

Yes, I knew Al had something he was chasing/playing with/torturing to death. Yes, I knew Al had killed the frog. No, I didn't remove the little corpse. Yes, I did mention to my husband that there was a dead frog in my closet. And then...there was just a head. And one limb. That'll teach me.

Then Sings My Soul - What Could Be Better by 33 Miles

2009-06-13T04:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a great week. The AWI conference was "all that and more". Squeezing the sessions into an already busy week was a challenge, but the rewards were well worth the effort. Being able to walk out of my corporate cubicle into the work environment drenched in the Spirit, spreading the Spirit, spreading the joy and wonder of God's love by simply being open - what a blessing! It's what I imagine when I think of living out God's kingdom here on earth.

None of the petty stuff, the office politics, the immediate "crises" of today's emergencies...none of that is what's important. Living in the Spirit, listening to God, walking with Jesus - that's what's important. It carries me when I'm too tired to walk. It lets me dance on the streets of gold in my heart and soul at the end of a week of meetings and conference calls and all of the patience I can muster. What Could be Better?

What Could Be Better
by 33 Miles

I’ve heard it said today
Is all we’re given
Tomorrow may not come
So you better start living
I guess it all depends
On your point of view

Pardon me if I
Just don’t listen
To everything the world
Say’s I’m missing
There’s nothing here and now
I’m gonna hold on to

Chorus:
I’m living in the days ahead
I’m already dancing on the streets of gold
Can’t stop celebrating in my soul
I’m living in the days ahead
Nothing on earth could ever compare
Can’t wait for the day when I get there
When I see Jesus face to face
Tell me what could be better
Tell me what could be better

If home is where the heart is then I’m in Heaven
It’s the promise of tomorrow
That I’ve been given
Who is waiting there I am living for

He’s everything I love
And I believe in
And I can hardly wait
Just to see Him
And hear Him say well done
I couldn’t ask for more

Chorus:

Life is full of ups and downs
Inside outs, round and rounds
Can’t blame me for dreaming about it

Chorus:

Chefmate Popcorn Popper

2009-06-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

This is truly an unexpected form of entertainment. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't work this way. I did find online reviews from folks who clearly had a similar experience. Note to self: Read reviews BEFORE purchasing new toys.

Then Sings My Soul - Every Time I Breathe by Big Daddy Weave

2009-06-06T06:08:00.000-07:00

I've been working on "transforming my mind, heart and soul" since a series of sermons our priest gave at the start of Easter season. I've come a long way in my faith journey as a result. Part of the process has been taking intentional time to talk with God. Not "to God" mind you, but "with God". Listening for the Spirit. Obeying. God is always right, so arguments are not very productive - but God is interested in what I have to say. It makes for a fascinating dynamic.

One down side is that the closer I feel to God during my quiet time, the harder it is to go out into the world. The trick is to remember that I'm carrying His light, His love, His warm embrace into the world with me. And may His glory shine from my face! Alleluia!

Every Time I Breathe
Big Daddy Weave

I am sure all of heaven's heard me cry
As I tell You all the reasons why
This life is just too hard

But day by day
Without fail
I'm finding everything I need
And everything that You are
To me

Chorus:
Every time I breathe You seem a little bit closer
I never want to leave
I want to stay in Your warm embrace
Oh basking in the glory shining from Your face
And every time I get another glimpse of Your heart
I realize it's true
That You are so marvelous God
And I am so in love with You

Now how could I after knowing One so great
Respond to You in any way
That's less than all I have to give
But by Your grace I want to love You not with what
I say
But everyday
In a way that my life is lived

Chorus:
Every time I breathe You seem a little bit closer
I never want to leave
I want to stay in Your warm embrace
Oh basking in the glory shining from Your face
And every time I get another glimpse of Your heart
I realize it's true
That You are so marvelous God
And I am so in love with You

Wrapped in Your mercy I want to live and never leave
I am held by how humble
Yet overwhelmed by Your majesty
Captured by grace and now I'm finding
I am free
You are marvelous God
And knowing You is everything

Weirdness

2009-06-03T11:16:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in the hall outside of a meeting room in my building. Well, not my building really. Today is a cruel reminder of that. In my new role, I'm a contractor for my old employer, paid for by a supplier. Although the role change is effectively a promotion, I'm a supplier and that means there are certain topics of discussion that I cannot be privy to. Which means that occasionally I'm asked to step out of a meeting and sit in the hall. Today this happens to be in a centrally located hallway.

Naturally everyone who happens to walk by sees me sitting cross-legged on the floor and somehow assumes I was naughty and kicked out of the meeting.

Awkward!

'Til the Cows Come Home

2009-06-01T19:19:00.000-07:00

Whether or not throwing our grass clippings over the fence in a big pile on the undeveloped ranch land is the right thing to do or not, is NOT the subject of this post. The eight cows (future steak) that graze regularly on the clippings and produce manure that I use in the compost - they are the subject of this post.

Our youngest mowed and piled up the grass. I spent the afternoon pulling Mexican petunias that were taking over one of the flower beds. Between trips to the grass pile, these guys showed up and hit the buffet. Eight, yes eight, shoving, jostling, pushing cows. The grass was piled so high I was afraid these fellas were going to come over into our yard. Note to self: keep the gate closed!

A Woman Inspired

2009-05-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

You can click here to read my thoughts on "A Woman Inspired." I encourage you to consider participating in the June 8-11 event.

Some days just call for flowers

2009-05-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

Then Sings My Soul - Something to Say, by Matthew West

2009-05-23T13:15:00.000-07:00

I love when "Then Sings My Soul Saturday" dovetails with "Cafe Chat". Today I've been thinking about fulfillment, and how we are each called to fill a need. God empowers us, enables us and calls us. It's our job to listen and step out in faith. I've got something to say, and I'm saying it. I'm living it. Sometimes I'm writing it. I need to be doing more of that.

"Something to Say" by Matthew West

Wake up, 7:32 AM
Can’t believe it’s time to do it over again
Yesterday, it took all that you had
And you’re wondering if you’ll ever get it back
But the whole wide world is waiting for
Waiting for you to step out that door
Come on, and let your life be heard today
You’ve got something to say

If you’re living, if you’re breathing
You’ve got something to say
You know if you’re heart is beating
You’ve got something to sayA
nd no one can say it like you do
God is love and love speaks through you
Got it, you got it
You’ve got something to say

Listen up, I got a question here
Would anybody miss you if you disappeared
Well your life is the song that you sing
And the whole wide world is listening
Well the answer to the question is
You were created, your life is a gift
And the lights are shining on you today

Spring in Onamia

2009-05-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

Trout Lily (an endangered Minnesota wildflower)
Dandelions
Trillium (this one was new for me - a wildflower of the north. Very striking. Grows in the drainage ditch along the side of the road.)
Dogwood Tree
Tulips in a planter in front of a flower shop. They were so strikingly beautiful they looked almost fake. Almost.

Family Reunion

2009-05-19T06:56:00.000-07:00

We spent the weekend in Onamia, MN visiting with hubby's family.

Mostly 5 uncles he didn't know and an aunt in declining health. We left early-summer weather in TX and arrived at early-spring weather in MN.
We stayed at a joint called the Soo Line RV & Camping Hotel. Sounds like a good time? It turned out fabulous. The hotel was quaint.

I learned about things like "Off Sale Liquor" but completely forgot to ask about rutting. I think they mean the roads. I'd hate to think this was a warning about deer behavior.

Then Sings My Soul - "I am a Friend of God" by Israel

2009-05-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

It turns out I should probably accept the fact that I don't travel well. We are in the middle of a quick trip to Minnesota for a mini- family reunion (on my husband's side). The last half of the flight involved me spending lots of time negotiating with my stomach. Negotiating that went something like "no barfing, please, no barfing, please no barfing...." And in the middle of that I kept reminding myself that I am friend of God.

Engineers are problem-solvers

2009-05-12T05:02:00.001-07:00

The other day I arrived at the office about the same time as one of my engineers. He'd played racquetball on the way to the office and had forgotten to bring a belt. He scrounged up a cord from the box of discarded electronics in the "hardware reclamation bin" (otherwise known as dumpster diving). Here's a picture of the fashionable outcome of his efforts:

The only thing that might have topped this look would have been if he'd used a mouse cord, and left the mouse attached.

Then Sings My Soul: “Here I Am” by DOWNHERE

2009-05-09T06:18:00.001-07:00

There is a long preamble in this video, with a story of how this song came to be. I love hearing the artist explain background, but if you don't – jump to about the 6^th minute of the video to just hear the song.

This week has been rough. In many ways I've felt inadequate. I've felt my failings, my shortcomings. I can only cry out to God that I'm still here. I'm still willing, with His help, to do whatever it is He wants me to do. I will continue to do my best, even if from where I'm sitting it seems I'm falling short – that's relative to my own expectations. From God's perspective, maybe I'm doing just fine. I trust His purpose and His vision.

Downhere - Here I Am
From the album Ending Is Beginning
Sometimes Your calling, comes in dream
Sometimes it comes in the Spirit's breeze
You reach for the deepest hope in me
And call out for the things of eternity

But I'm a man, of dust and stains,
You move in me, so I can say

Chorus
Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am

When setbacks and failures and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand
I know that You will finish what You began

And these broken parts You redeem
Become the song that I can sing

Chorus

Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness
And the fear that I'll fail You in the end
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but You can

Chorus

Here I Am, all my life an offering to You, to You
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan
Here I am

How do you want to go out?

2009-05-08T17:57:00.001-07:00

Pat was in his 60's. In the middle of a bunch of amazing activities. Brokering deals. Volunteering. Developing property. Snap. Gone.

I asked hubby - he said "as long as it's fast and painless." Me? Snatched up like Ezekiel. You? How do you want to "go"?

To Pat

2009-05-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

Today, a member of our congregation suffered from an aneurism. He and my husband had been working together to coordinate some city planning activities. I'm very sad for our loss, but I trust that he is going to a better place.

I don't know his current status, but it wasn't looking good 6 hours ago. I hate sounding like I'm anticipating a fatal outcome. Doctors have been wrong before. I trust God's infinite wisdom and timing.

We are His.

Desperate for Flowers

2009-05-04T12:32:00.000-07:00

I'm at work, wishing I was at home working in the yard. And not just because this has been a long day of dealing with folks not doing what they've said they're going to do.

Then Sings My Soul - Say, by John Mayer

2009-05-02T06:19:00.000-07:00

To really appreciate how powerfully this song hit me this week, picture me drifting off to sleep at the end of a long and emotionally challenging day. I'd been praying for the spirit of wisdom to guide me to a response. To help me navigate as an apostle. To be a witness to God's love and mercy. To humble myself and give glory to God. "How?" I asked. And I felt the spirit with me and listened. On the radio a song played, repeating (almost) endlessly "Say what you need to say." And the spirit added, "with love, from the heart." You can read about it in this week's Thirst for Wisdom and Cafe Chat.

Say, by John Mayer

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]

Frants - Will the last one to leave please turn out the lights

2009-05-01T14:37:00.000-07:00

First, this sign appeared on the vending machine at the end of our hallway. Someone decided it would be more efficient to have fewer snack machines. This is not really about what is efficient for the average employee. This is not about being able to grab a convenient snack when you're working through lunch. This is about a bean counter somewhere crunching the numbers on their end (the service provider) and deciding their bottom line was better served with fewer snack machines. Will they run the numbers in a year and determine that their margin was reduced because fewer snacks were sold as a result of less available tempting noshes? Probably not.
Then, soon after, this sign appeared on all of the bathroom doors. "A New Way of Office Cleaning is Sweeping Across 'The Company'..." How exciting? This is just the sort of message that really gets you feeling good about your situation. Who wouldn't love a housekeeping service that is more personalized, efficient and environmentally friendly? Who knew that what they really meant was that all employees would have to empty their own waste baskets. No joke. There are now centrally located trash cans in the main hallways and everyone is expected to make the trip from their cubicle to the main trash cans. And they cut the hours of the housekeeping staff. Stay tuned. I'm sure I'll soon have photos of overflowing waste baskets in the cubes of the slovenly.

It warms my heart to know how much 'The Company' is looking out for us. Not every employer would be so sensitive to our needs.

Another case of "after"

2009-04-27T09:57:00.001-07:00

Saturday I rolled up my sleeves and went to battle with the dust bunnies (well, really "against the dust bunnies" and clutter that had taken over my office.

I'm not really thinking the photos here can do justice to the sights and sounds and scents that are my newly refreshed zen-like retreat.

The Lavender reed diffuser is a delight. The candle from IKEA contributes to the sights/scents with a slightly tropical aura.

The plants which greet my distracted gaze further the feeling of a retreat from the world.

I fiddled with the waterfall and it once again contributes to the wellness of my world.

Then Sings My Soul: “Thank you” by 33 Miles

2009-04-25T05:49:00.001-07:00

This perfectly captures where I'm at right now. "Thank you" by 33 Miles.

I'm a sucker for faith videos that capture teen-adoration for God. I loved the song before, and even more now.

Thank You, by 33 Miles
What if in morning when I wake up
Even before I fill my coffee cup
I said thank You
Thank You

What if I look at the day and the hours ahead
And before I move forward I bowed my head
And said thank You
Oh I said thank You

What if I looked at my life in a different way
Took a little more time to stop and pray
I know it would change all the moments in between
So here I go

Thank You for everything
Thank You for loving me
It don't even matter what tomorrow brings
Well I will sing my

Thank You for sun and rain
For what You give and take away
For all Your goodness I will always say
Thank You
Oh I'll say thank You

What if I lost everything that I had
I could smile and somehow still be glad
And say thank You
Thank you

'Cause life is joy, life is pain
But the prayer on my heart will never change
I say thank You
Oh I'll say thank You

Frants - this just irks me. Probably for no good reason.

2009-04-24T07:52:00.001-07:00

I come into the office building the same way every day. One of the sights that greets me is this charming poster. I'd rather not be too liberal in criticism of my benefactor's marketing. I'm posting this image here as my little way of saying "Bleh! I don't like it!"

Ed: "Irk" may not be the right word (I'm not always good at naming my feelings). Maybe it's "vex" or "perplex" or "befuddle" or "bemuse" or "baffle" or "I wish they would take it down because I can't figure out how this is supposed to sell more product or inspire." What is the reaction they're looking for, anyway?

I should have mentioned this poster is almost as big as a single bed sheet.

For those who just visited and saw the "before," here's "after"

2009-04-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

Our downstairs living room is "beach" theme, but the bathroom was not (sorry - I forgot to take photos of "before"). I finally bit the bullet and redecorated the bathroom. Although the Baptismal reception at our house Sunday should have motivated me to finish the project before company came, such was not the case. I finished the day after everyone left. The fun side was getting my Mom and sis's input during the weekend.

My crafty (in an artsy way) Mom helped with the 3 shadowboxes. These were nude, but I spray-painted them white. The photos are from Puerto Rico, my back yard and Florida.

The photos here really don't do 'em justice. You'll just have to come visit to appreciate the clever ambiance of our guest bath.

Al strikes again...well, maybe "strikes" is too strong a word

2009-04-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

This morning as I went about my business I came around a corner and was startled by a visitor. The good news was that this visitor was alive and breathing. In light of the last 3 (yes 3) dead guests, I'm delighted to say that this latest conquest was not conquered. No, he was trying to blend in with the background. He sat still while I ran to get my camera, but disappeared into the laundry room soon after.

Al, oh Al....Look how you nap so innocently. Did this little froggy wear you out? I worried for a minute that Mr. Froggy spit poison at the killer cat because the frog appears unscathed and Al seems whupped.

Surprise # 2 came when I fixed my morning tea and turned around to almost step on the visitor. As you can see, Mr. Froggy was nice enough to clean out dust bunnies from under the washing machine. You gotta love a visitor who jumps in and helps with the housekeeping!

No pun intended.

Loving hubby jumped in and scooped up our guest and dumped her unceremoniously outside into our delightful backyard....for Al to chase again on another day.

Hopeless Diamond

2009-04-17T04:34:00.001-07:00

In another blast from my past...back in the days of LV community theatre.

"The Curse of the Hopeless Diamond" dinner mystery:

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

Rumors

2009-04-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

From the Lago Vista Player's production of "Rumors" (circa 2002). What a hoot that was! I'm going to use this in my next staff meeting. I think the team will get a kick out of this, eh?

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T06:02:00.001-07:00

A season for celebrating beautiful things.

And the promise of things to come.

Praise God for his Son! Alleluia!

Frants - Professional Spelling Errors

2009-04-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'm introducing a new theme-day for this blog. I don't want to get into a bad habit of whining and complaining but sometimes the world throws things my way that are just worth sharing. Whether the light cast on these things is positive or negative, well I'll leave some of that to your judgment. It's one thing when we make typos in our day to day activities, but it's something else altogether when we find items at the store that have been mass distributed with spelling errors. "The Lord is my ligth..."

'Tis Spring

2009-04-10T06:34:00.000-07:00

I needed to enjoy the flowers today.

The season's second kill

2009-04-06T05:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day of highs and lows. The first half of the day (getting ready for church, going to Sunday School, church itself) was as good as it gets. By afternoon, however, I was in a bit of a funk. One of the funk-contributors was the aftermath of Al (aka "the killer cat") and his ~~evil ways~~ natural desire to please us with his prowess.

He laid this treasure outside of the sun room door, then meowed and meowed and meowed to be let in. I wish I knew how to respond to discourage this behavior in him. I know he's a cat and he's doing what comes naturally, but I am not looking forward to spending the summer dealing with dead animals. Here we can see the shriveled corpse of a frog (probably the 1st kill, set free and didn't make it, if I had to guess).

Here is the Killer Cat lurking, waiting. I watched him stalk a bird, quietly slipping into the dwarf bamboo that grows near the would-be-(will-be-when-it's-put-back-together) pond. I shouted "Al, no!" and the sparrow was spared, but it's only a matter of time. His instincts are strong.

I guess I should be grateful. With Spring here, he has quit attacking me as I walk blissfully through the house, unaware that I'm being stalked by the Killer Cat.

Maybe an "angst" post

2009-04-05T17:54:00.000-07:00

Classy? You bet. (Not)

This is on the rear window of the car my daughter's boyfriend bought for my daughter. We suggested goo-gone.

In the end (no pun intended) I think she finds the message to her liking.

Then Sings My Soul: "I'm Letting Go" by Francesca Battistelli

2009-04-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

This process has been going on for weeks. You can read recent posts here or on my other blog and know that I'm struggling with letting go of the old and embracing the unknown. There is comfort in competence.

I'm Letting Go

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe

So I’m letting go
This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe

So I’m letting go
Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

Liberal Arts! Fine Arts! So much better than real life!

2009-04-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

I spent the day watching one act plays at a UIL competition. Comedies. Tragedies. Teenagers playing old people. Irish, Scottish, British, Amish and New Jersey accents. Some well done. Some unintelligible.

Work has been a total buzz-kill this week so it was an absolute delight to lose myself in the darkness, spending 45 minutes at a time in different worlds, different times, different contexts.

Then, an hour waiting for the judge to finalize his results, sitting next to a 3rd grader who was fascinated by the potholder I was crocheting. Who told me all about his field trip to Inner Space Caverns. Who didn't need me for anything. No escalations, no demands, just friendly chatter. In the end, his parents thanked me - presumably for tolerating him, but I gave them my heartfelt thanks. In this day and age, it's nice that they allowed their young son to visit with a stranger (even if only in the seats right in front of them).

Ultimately the 8 hours spent at the UIL competition was the high point of my week.

Then Sings My Soul: “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz

2009-03-29T08:36:00.001-07:00

This song makes me tap my toes and sing, "God, I'm Yours!"

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment babay sing with me
We're just one big family
And It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, not yours
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Scooch on over closer dear
And i will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
Please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This oh this this is our fate, I'm yours!

This is a test

2009-03-29T06:27:00.001-07:00

I'm delighted to occasionally hit on a technical solution that lends itself to improving my life or lifestyle. Being able to do word processing in a tool I'm familiar with (i.e. MS Word) and post posts with no muss, no fuss…well, that makes life better, doesn't it?

How about if I want a sentence centered?

How
about
if I want
to play with fonts?

Here goes…I'm about to hit "publish."

Maybe it doesn't seem so bold

2009-03-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

But I did submit a proposal for another Guidepost article. Hurray! And I hope to get a 2nd proposal submitted by Monday. A trip to Yancey, Texas (BFE, TX) will either help or hinder that goal.

Progress!

It's all I'm asking....

2009-03-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

Please keep me in your prayers while I take a bold step forward.

Thank you!

Stalling

2009-03-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

Half-formed plots. Glimpses of characters. Random dialogue. Opening sentences or paragraphs. My hands are busy in the garden, my back is breaking under the strain, my mind is wandering, flirting with ideas, picking them up and considering them like river rocks. On the surface, smooth and dull, but occasionally revealing buried pieces with sharp edges that sparkle in the sun.

Later, sitting at the keyboard, staring at the monitor...stalling.

Then Sings My Soul

2009-03-21T05:14:00.000-07:00

I've been reflecting on my fear of failure. When we step away from an area of competence and confidence into an area where we lack competence and confidence, we have to confront our fears.

The song I've selected for today is Brave, by Nichole Nordeman. I'm ready to be free from my fears and free from the road that is paved in moderation.

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been
'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...

Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

World of Blogcraft

2009-03-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

Last year around this time I was addicted to an on-line interactive game, World of Warcraft (aka World of Warcrack). This game is very fun and very addicting. Sometimes I miss it. In playing WoW, you create a character (mine was a dwarf gnome named Yekopog) who goes on quests and has great adventures. Your character can become a member of a Guild, a collective group of players who work collaboratively. You can go on adventures together, but the guilds are needed for "runs" when the team tackles the more complex and challenging areas loaded with loot. My guild-mates were very helpful. I always knew I could find someone to help me if I get into trouble on a solo-quest. They invited me on runs and were patient with me as I learned the game.

Now I play World of Blogcraft. I spend about as many hours per day sitting at the computer, and about as much time daydreaming about it when I'm away from the computer. My guild is made up of a few fellow-bloggers. As with WoW, I know that many of the other players enjoy the interactive aspects of the game, sharing and networking. I'm just as happy playing solo, but sometimes, admittedly, I'm envious of the people who are at a higher level, more powerful, better networked.... I have to remember the times when my guild-mates helped me level-up to a point where I was in over my head. I hadn't developed the skills I needed along the way. The quests have a purpose - beyond acquiring gear and "scoring points" they give you much needed training in doses that are easily swallowed.

Some of the players came to WoW from other, similar games. Their skills were already honed and leveling up was more of a chore. I wasn't there in WoW and I'm not there in WoB. I can't lose sight of the fact that I blog to practice writing. I'm working to overcome years of communicating in terse e-mails. I'm developing the skills required to extricate thoughts from my brain and to put those thoughts into sentences that flow and entice the reader to follow the train to the end of the track.

If I'm successful, there will be folks with me at the station, ready to board the next train.

Signs of Spring

2009-03-19T19:46:00.000-07:00

Evidence a critter visited in the early morning. Al is soon on the trail.

Before/After - Confederate Rose.

I love spring! I love the first flowers. And apparently, so do the bees!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

2009-03-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

What a difference a few days can make. While I've been busting bum trying to get the yard ready for Spring, Spring has been doing its thing.

These photos are just teasers, a bit of "green" to keep me from being pinched on St. Patty's day. I've been working hard prepping beds and cutting back winter's dormant remains.

So much to do! So little time!

For my friends in the colder climes, I will get more photos posted soon.

And, since these "green" teasers are hardly enough....Here's a picture of the humming Mountain Laurel in our front yard.

First Kill of the Season

2009-03-17T06:44:00.000-07:00

Al was not done playing and the frog was not as dead as I initially thought. Just wishin' he was.

The poor little froggy is in the house somewhere. Based on Al's interest in getting behind my dresser this morning, I think I may know where.

Al was back at it later in the day, sitting by the pond, waiting for prey.

At the end of the day he came inside with one eye irritated and swollen shut. Something fought back. He's all better now. I expect him to be a threat to the yard denizens all summer. {sigh}

A Bit of Fluff

2009-03-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

Last year, our precious, ferocious, thinks he's "alpha" cat became quite the yard-warrior. He brought home birds, bunnies, mice, frogs, snakes and lizards with reckless abandon. These critters came into the house dead or alive. I know we should have been grateful for his hard fought/won victories. I'm sure we should have greeted these treasures with praise.

But instead I tended to yell for hubby (or hubby was the sad discoverer) and we quickly cleaned up and eliminated all traces of the prizes that were delivered. I can imagine why poor Al (for Alabaster, as in white, not for "Alpha," as in dominant) kept going after bigger and better prey. We must seem ridiculously hard to please.

Now, I am suddenly understanding why Al insists on lurking around dark corners, pouncing on my ankles when I walk by, in an effort to bring me down. Clearly he has decided that if he can deliver me at the feet of the Master of the House, finally, finally he will get some respect around here.

My darling hubby is absolutely enamored with this theory.

Pay no attention

2009-03-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

I've been preparing a series of posts about Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence. Some of the information is personal. Some of the information is impersonal. The series has been thought-provoking .... for me, anyway. I've been thinking about the world today and considering our collective future.

The women who have posted their stories here have consistently demonstrated a tremendous amount of bravery. Not just for posting their stories, but in their stories. Me? I buried my story deep in my blog. But maybe not deep enough. So I buried the details deeper. A lot like we bury stories in our psyche. But the statistics say "the truth will out." History says "the truth will out." So...I'm dumping all of this onto the blog-o-sphere at one time, regardless of what the timestamp indicates. Maybe these will be read, maybe not. That's not why I'm posting these. These are posted as part of my own self-discovery. My truth is out. I have been a victim, but I don't feel like a victim.

The topic of SA/DV strikes a chord with me. The sound is harmonic and it resonates. I don't know why. I don't feel pain when I think about my past. I feel pain when I think about the people who are suffering today. I posted this prayer on behalf of the women and men who are suffering at the hands of someone they love. Someone they once trusted. Someone they let into their lives but who has become their enemy.

If you believe you are not affected by SA/DV, pay no attention. But know this. You're wrong.

Then Sings My Soul

2009-03-14T12:53:00.001-07:00

This song taught me a new term - "Ebenezer." Ebenezer is from a Hebrew word meaning “stone of help.” God the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost, my stone of help. I've started wearing polished stone pendants on a chain as a reminder for myself.

1. Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of God's unchanging love.

2. Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

3. O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

The statistics are grim

2009-03-13T21:11:00.000-07:00

If you want to be brought down over your morning coffee, spend some time perusing the numbers.

~~One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, and females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk for intimate partner violence.
~~In 2005, 389,100 women and 78,180 men were victimized by an intimate partner. These crimes accounted for 9 percent of all violent crime.
~~The majority (73%) of family violence victims are females: 84% were spousal abuse victims and 86% were victims at the hands of a boyfriend.
~~A 2004 study found that women living in disadvantaged neighborhoods are more than twice as likely to be the victims of intimate partner violence than women in more affluent neighborhoods.
~~One study found that women who have experienced any type of personal violence (even when the last episode was 14 to 30 years ago) reported a greater number of chronic physical symptoms than those who have not been abused. The risk of suffering from six or more chronic physical symptoms increased with the number of forms of violence experienced.
~~In 2003, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, or transgender people experienced 6,523 incidents of domestic violence; 44% were men, 36% women and 2% transgender.

But what they don't tell me is the answer to the questions that come to mind when I consider the situation. What percentage of the population are large can be considered abusers. How many abusers are habitual? When I am in a room full of people there are victims, yes. But there are perpetrators as well, right?

I work in a male-dominated environment. Some percentage of the men I work with may have been abused. But...some of them may be abusers. Perpetrators of domestic violence. If statistics are an indicator, that is.

I don't, in general, trust statistics. I want to know more. The link behind the "if" (above) don't exactly match "the numbers" link, but they agree that about 1/4 of the women we know have probably been a victim of Domestic Violence. I used to not think about this. Now I do. Do you?

Righteous anger

2009-03-12T06:24:00.000-07:00

I found myself having a flash of righteous anger last night. Since we can't really be righteous when we're angry, I had to internalize this a bit before I pinned down that I was insulted by something that happened at work. Insulted on two fronts, no less.

Am I critical to this operation or no? You tell me "yes" but then schedule a critical week of planning while I am OUT OF THE OFFICE!!! I can anticipate the follow-up and the expectation that I somehow "fix things" that would have been avoided if the meetings could have been postponed one week.

Oh, wait a minute...I don't even want to be considered critical. I have other things to do...other areas of interest that I am trying to develop. So, if I were to set aside my hurt feelings and my frustration with the way planning has worked out, maybe, just maybe I should be feeling righteous joy. I choose joy.

I'll let you know how it works out.

Flowers from afar

2009-03-10T19:45:00.001-07:00

From my recent trip to Taipei... the flowers are both familiar and foreign.

There but for the grace of God go I

2009-03-09T20:37:00.000-07:00

We are all shaped by our first sexual encounter. Whether it is pleasant or not, I would argue it is a memory that sticks with us. At the forefront of our memories or buried deep within. My first sexual encounters were not ideal. An incident shaped me and affected the next series of encounters. I can see that in hindsight although I might not have appreciated it then. The incident qualified as statutory rape and so maybe I'm a statistic - one out of four women is a victim of sexual assault or domestic violence.

About a year and a half later I was dating someone else. Living somewhere else. My past far behind me already. During a fight, a dispute, an argument about something I can't even remember....he punched me in the stomach. Enough to wind me, leaving me gasping for air. As soon as I could stand up and breathe, I walked him to the door and ended the relationship. Since we worked at the same place, I can't say that I never saw him again. He actually was so low that he spread ugly rumors about me. But I counted my blessings because I knew that I'd escaped a fate worse than ugly rumors. I was a victim of domestic violence - even though it only occurred once. Maybe I'm a statistic. One out of four women is a victim of sexual assault or domestic violence.

I can't explain it. I know I am blessed. I know that I have escaped to a better life. I have been married 23+ years and I do not count myself as a victim of SA/DV. I don't know if the statistics are valid. I suspect they are conservative. The next time you are with a group of women, it is likely that at least one of them has been assaulted.

Then Sings My Soul

2009-03-08T12:33:00.000-07:00

I love this song. I couldn't find the version of this song that I wanted (the way we sing it at my church), but I fell in love with this version. This scripture resonates for me.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10a

I think back and smile

2009-03-05T18:56:00.000-08:00

One of the high points of my recent trip to Taipei was the 15 minutes spent in the Green Relaxing Zone.

I stepped into this room, this zen-like respite along the airport corridor, and walked slowly around the suspended images.

I found the instructions intriguing. Especially the part about the FREE TOKEN.

I sought out the token, and returned for a few moments of relaxation before boarding the plane for the first, and longest leg, of my journey home.

The ambiance set the tone, but the chair, oh the chair, how I love the chair. The massage....it went on and on...on and on. At least 10-15 minutes. It was a beautiful thing.

Several locals came by and after several pass-by's went and got their own token. Clearly the American was on to something. Ah, the memories. I think back and smile.

I miss it already

2009-02-28T18:13:00.000-08:00

There is so much about Taiwan that I love. I love the people and the language and the culture and the food. I love their love of things American.

I don't love the jetlag or the exhaustion brought on by the arduous journey.

I'm already wondering when I will return.

Another day, another adventure

2009-02-21T03:22:00.000-08:00

This link will take you to an overview of some of the terrain I traversed in today's adventures. My first foray was south of the circle (shown bottom center) where I saw no fewer than 4 7-11's in the space of about 6 blocks. One of those was directly across from what appears to be a Taipei version of Circle K. Two of the 7-11's were within a stones throw of each other. If you look closely at the picture with the 7'11 banner, you'll see across the street and down just a little ways another 7-11.

At one of the 7-11's, I stopped in for yogurt and a power drink (something/anything like Gatoraid). I couldn't find any brands I recognized. I skipped over the beer flavored tea and bought the "Pro-Sweat." Yum.

Later I ventured west. With just a bit of a hike I got to the lake (for which City Lake Hotel is named? Probably.) and walked around the lake and a third of the way up the mountain. I did see a butter-yellow slug bug (tag!) and I spent a few minutes visiting with a chatty local, but once I got to the lake I was resoundly ignored. I was the only non-local hanging out there today.

There is a two-story structure that allowed for a pleasant passing of time. It helped me to reclaim some of the wind I'd lost. Little did I know.

After resting a bit and meditating on "things" I was back in motion. I set off to finish the loop of the lake. On the far side of the lake, there is a mountain. I'm not sure how tall it is, but after hiking a ways I realized the distance to the top was marked along the way. I was about 1/3 of the way up when I decided I'd had enough. Out of nowhere I'd developed a deep straight-from-the-lungs nasty cough. Maybe it was the altitude. So, with only 1200 meters to go, I bailed on the mountain climbing and headed back to the hotel.

Considering I rode the stationary bike for ~25 minutes this morning, my legs have gotten quite a work-out today.

I think I'll call it a day a wee bit early tonight.

I am here

2009-02-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

The trip was relatively uneventful. I hope to see some sights this weekend, but I came early to make sure I'm well rested for a busy week. When I get back home, I am going to be very busy as well. Part of that busyness is stemming from:

I hope we're past the last of the freezes, although history says "probably not." The pond is under re-construction, I'm putting new beds for my grandmother's irises, something needs to be done to bolster the elephant ears...and I'm halfway around the world! Spring Break is still 3 weeks away.

Preparing for another trip to Taiwan

2009-02-17T06:30:00.000-08:00

I've lost count of how many times I've made this trip. The first trip was in '99. While on that remarkable trip I made a lot of life changing decisions. One was to upgrade my commuter vehicle from our '88 Nova (purchased new in '88) to a '99 Mustang Convertible. I'll save that story for another post. The trip was also memorable because I didn't keep food down until my last day in Taiwan. This problem has plagued me for most of my trips to Asia. With each trip, I pick up new tricks for keeping on my feet.

For this next trip I'm breaking out of habits - that seems to be the theme of my life these days. I've always flown American. I've always stayed at the Hyatt. I know what to expect. I know my way around that part of Taipei. I have comfort and confidence in the known, even though I'm surrounded by the unknown. I've been studying Mandarin but "I am not Chinese" and "I don't understand a word you are saying" are my most useful expressions.

Thursday I will fly to LA, then experience my first trip on EVA air. I'm flying "economy" which is the expectation in today's economy. I'm staying at a hotel close to my new employer's headquarters. I'm not familiar with this part of Taipei so I don't know where I'll find corn soup or buy Pringles when/if my tummy gives me trouble. I've learned lots of tips for traveling sans barfing - hopefully all will carry me through this new adventure.