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It's not that I don't love my oasis, because I do. It's still my favorite place to pause, putting everything else on the back burner. Whether I'm sitting in a lounge chair or lounging in the pool, sipping water, wine or gin, whether I'm bent over a troublesome set of grass roots buried deep beneath the soil and mulch of a flower bed, or whether I'm dining at the bar (outdoor kitchen), this is our own slice of paradise. A staycation getaway always waiting for me, just outside my back door. In fact, I can see the western edge from where I sit now, at my writing desk.

Rather than gardens with plants that need tending, my aspirations of writer-dom require me to focus on platform and presence and networks that need attention in order to bloom and grow. Damn. However, this blog will not necessarily die on the vine (as alluded to in this post), but, perhaps instead, this will be my secret garden. A respite for all of the thoughts and images that whirl and shake, eager to be released on the unsuspecting world.

9 weeks of P90X + 3 weeks of inactivity = square one

For those who've never tried it, the P90X commitment is not to be taken lightly. The workouts take anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half (if you're doing the "Ab Ripper" workout after weights). The routine varies between weights and aerobics, yoga, stretching and kenpo (my favorite). There is daily variation and weekly variation and the whole program is nothing short of intense.

My last post was 6 days in to the 90 day commitment. I started right after the 4th of July weekend.

A month after I started my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with a beautiful ceremony/reception. Preparation for that consumed plenty of time and energy. Around that time my beloved husband gave me a new used piano, which introduced a new discipline of 30-minutes-a-day of piano practice into my already busy routine.

In mid-August I spent a week in Taiwan on a business trip. In mid-September my husband and I spent a week in Hawaii on our "honeymoon" vacation. On the last afternoon of our vacation I slipped on a lava rock and sliced open my toe, requiring 6 stitches and a hiatus from my workout routine. I couldn't risk pulling the wound open. Although I'd diligently maintained my workout discipline throughout all of the demands of life, work and travel I suddenly found myself "grounded."

That was September 23rd, the end of my first week of inactivity (vacation). The slice on the bottom of my foot restricted my walking to a slow limping pace, which further slowed me down. Yes, maybe there were some things I could still do but I'd lost my momentum. It's amazing how quickly things unwind. This week I started with some baby steps - push-ups on my knees (so I don't flex my torn toe), crunches, a few wall squats. It's depressing to realize how quickly the flab returned. And I look back and realize how much time flew by while I was busybusybusy with exercise, piano, reading, etc. But not writing.

So, no "after" photos yet of the great beachbody the P90X routine is supposed to yield. I'm not sure how I'll tally the time devoted given the on-again off-again nature of this effort. I'm not sure I want to go back to the 7-day-a-week regimen. I definitely do NOT want to give up completely on the exercise. Maybe there's a happy medium because one thing I DO want is to find time to write again.

When I get back on my feet (or rather the balls of my toes) I will be seeking balance, and not just through yoga training.

Where did the time go?

In October I started writing a book on parenting and our relationship with God. It's not a how-to book by any stretch of the imagination. It's just my musings on these topics. It reads a lot like posts I put on my other blog. It's nothing like the posts I put on this blog, which seem to be mostly about the things my cat drags in.

I was plodding along through my life, bemoaning all of the challenges and difficulties and wishing I could write full time. As much as my job motivates me to do something else, the regular pay outweighs quite a lot of the challenges and difficulties. I prayed about the situation regularly.

Then a couple of things happened at once. Guideposts agreed to publish my 2nd story (March issue). And NaNoWriMo crossed my radar. Who wouldn't want to write a novel? I joined over 150,000 other aspiring novelists in the ambitious goal of penning (keyboarding?) 50,000 words beginning November 1st and finishing (and posting the completed work) before midnight on November 30th.

Because I'm an overachiever ... and because I'm leaving for China on November 30th, I set a personal goal to finish by November 20th. Which happens to be my 45th birthday.

Even though I could feel guilty about abandoning my blogs and allowing them to fall to the wayside while I plunge into writing as a part-time job rather than the hobby it's been for the last year or so, I don't. I'm proud of myself for finally getting off my butt (or rather sitting my butt down!) and acting on a dream. God willing, this dream will become my life.

So if you happen by this blog and wonder whatever happened to the woman who used to live here, I ask that you give me a little time because this turn in my life is requiring both hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road.

Two, two, two blogs in one... too many?

I'd started this blog a long time ago, and the focus has been on my beautiful yard and other life adventures. I wanted to start a blog specifically on parenting, so I kicked off "amothersangst". Now, when I make comments on other blogs, it leaves a link behind that sends folks to my profile. If they want, and are interested, they can pick a blog. I haven't seen any others set up this way. I'm not sure how to make the link I leave go directly to the other blog. I'm not even sure if people are reading either blog, or just departing in disgust (or whatever emotion).

{sigh}

I am committed to writing. I want to write. I'm compelled to write. Having a blog that no one reads is a little like keeping a journal that you leave laying around in the open. It might get read.... So, I'll keep writing, regardless. I am delighted with how many literate, articulate, passionate folks there are blogging away. You (or "they" if I'm talking to myself) are truly an inspiration.