UPDATED: Guideposts

Today we received our January issue of Guideposts, as well as 10 copies as part of "the publishing deal." I'll update with the link when the on-line copy is available. Whoohooo! I'm officially published!

Glory, Alleluia!

UPDATED with link to on-line copy of the article.

Getting the Spirit

Last night as part of Family Night we toured the neighborhood to admire our neighbors lights and decorating skills...and to have fun occasionally lambasting their taste. Some houses were very high class and tastefully decorated. Some were a hodgepodge of thoughts and emotions. We saw yards that combined the peanuts gang, multiple Santas and nativity scenes. Since we're not decorating our yard this year (we're leaving town on the 23rd and won't be back until January), I'm not sure if I should completely refrain from judgment or let loose and publish some of the hilarity. OK, I've decided on restraint.

I wasn't going to go there at all, however, my sister posted pictures of her home's decorated interior and asked that we imagine we're hearing "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses. Why imagine it when you can embed it?

This is so much better than anything we had going down in our neighborhood.
Merry Christmas!!!

After all of that....

I completed on-line Defensive Driving 2 1/2 weeks ago to address a ticket I got 3 months ago. I was proud that I took the course in time to avoid having to pay to expedite the certificate of completion. I had that in hand 2 weeks ago. And yet...I still waited until the last possible day to go to the courthouse to turn in the paperwork. {sigh}

Well, it makes for a nice excuse to leave work early today.

Merry Christmas!

Dreams

Like snippets of conversation overheard in passing. Incomplete. Not real. Yet to be fulfilled. Not fully understood because key elements are missing. Nothing to indicate whether my imagination can successfully complete the picture. Nothing to stop me from trying.

Short Story Contest

Today I submitted a short story to the Austin Chronicle's 2008 Short Story Contest.

'nough said.

I love Austin, TX!!!

When I was young, dumb and 18 (redundant?) I spent almost a year traveling with the circus (The Circus - Ringling Brothers & Barnum & Bailey). I was in Austin, newly employed at the local Arena as an usher, when I pulled up my tent stakes and hit the road with The Greatest Show on Earth. I lost count of how many cities we visited, Dallas, Tulsa, Wichita Falls, Kansas City, Detroit, Cleveland, Birmingham, Pensicola...with major stops in Boston and Miami. I caught the flavor of the midwest and the eastern states. In the end, I decided Austin was home. Shortly after my return to Austin, I met my wonderful husband and settled down for a life filled with as much fun, adventure and drama as any 3-ring circus could have offered.

One of the things I love about this town, my town, my home of choice...is the live music scene. From the first time I came here in '82 when I was 17 years old, I have been enamored with the local musicians. Sure, back in my really youthful youth I got to hear Joe Ely, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, and other names you may or may not recognize ... enjoyed through slightly illegal entry into Dallas clubs. I got to see the Who and be deafened by ZZ Top in the Dallas music scene. But Austin venues hold a charm not to be outdone. Mostly they are open air and free. Zilker Park is most notable for its free concerts - and I've enjoyed many. When we lived in Lago Vista (just west of Austin), the town of less than 5,000 had 4 (yes, FOUR) live music venues.

Why am I reminiscing? Today, hubby and I dropped in on the Wheatsville Arts Festival. It was truly a blast to the past. Not because the music was retro, but because all of the people who were hanging out at the free concerts 20-something years ago where there. Not that we recognized anyone...it was just that we were all of an era. Austin's gay/lesbian community were well represented. Austin's artistic left were also out in force. Dreadlocks and tie-dye (we bought some of the latter, as well as some home-spun glass art), long skirts and sandals, long hair for men and women, all on folks my age (40+) or older. Very little in the way of piercing and tats.

I'm not sure if there was a memo or what's going on with the UT collegiates. Today's happening was at a park just north of campus. Where were all of the 20-somethings? Has Austin moved on? Have we (hubby and I)? Are we a dying breed? Maybe we just need to get out more.

In the end, I guess I don't need to be hip or cool - I just like knowing that there is good music available for free at Art Festivals. I love Austin, Texas!

Defensive Driving, Part II

I'm back at it. I'm not sure how they have calculated the time required to read each page of text, or if the intent is to motivate me to pay for the

Tired of reading? Listen to the entire course with our audio read-along feature.

This is now being offered at a discounted rate. It was ~$10 for the upgrade. I'm either reading faster or the time allowed per word of text has shifted. The challenge with clicking away from the training and letting my mind wander is that there is also a time limit on how long I can be away.

Something that has added a tremendous amount of entertainment is playing "slug bug" during the videos. My son happened to stop by yesterday for this video (mute the video and put on your favorite tune):

We both caught the slug bug so the game was on!

Today, I got to enjoy this video:

How many slug bugs can you spot? (My son and I do not agree on all of the models. He says 1 or 2, I say 3 or 4) Once I started playing, I couldn't stop. It's kept me vastly entertained. There's a clip with the same aqua-colored sb appearing over and over again - very exciting stuff!

If I learned nothing else, I know that we drivers are not checking our tire pressure often enough. This was mentioned repeatedly, and I'm definitely guilty. Check your tire pressure, people! It's free! It only takes a minute of your time! There is no argument that your vehicle will be safer if your tires are properly inflated.

Before anyone thinks I'm being unduly harsh, I should make clear - this is the BEST DD course I have EVER taken. Ever. I'm a woman who knows her Defensive Driving. www.idrivesafely.com. I strongly recommend it...should you find yourself with a ticket requiring dismissal, or a desire to lower your insurance, or nothing better to do for a couple of evenings or a Saturday.

I, myself, promise to behave on the road in such a way as to avoid this eye-tick inducing exercise. I'm on my last set of lessons (page 3 of 7). I'm confident I can make it through to the end. But it's bedtime, and I am seriously just wishing it were done.

I've saved up lots of fodder for a future recap, but for tonight, I'm hitting publish before I complete the course because honestly, once I successfully complete the final exam (because eventually, I know that this will come to an end) I'm running off to bed. Or stumbling off to bed.

Surviving Defensive Driving

I'm convinced that this is less about educating drivers and more about deterring us ADHD-always-in-a-hurry folks (speed again and we'll make you sit through another round of Defensive Driving!). The people who need to hear this are the slow-pokes who get in the left lane (aka "the fast lane"). There's a statement about "slow down and pull off to the right" when traveling on a 2-lane blacktop and you're plagued by someone on your tale. On a recent trip to Bryan, the speed limit on the 2-lane blacktop was 70 mph. Understandably, a lot of the locals are comfortable doing a lot less than 70. Others were comfortable doing more than 70. I was happy to do 70, but unhappy when trapped behind yokels driving for miles at 55.

Tired of reading? Listen to the entire course with our audio read-along feature.

If you've never taken the on-line course, I can assure you the greatest challenge is the timer. I'm a fast reader so much of the course is focused on counting down 5....4....3....2....1 waiting for the timer to hit 0 so I can click to the next page. I should be embarrassed to admit how many times I've taken Defensive driving. My first time was in an elementary school 20 years ago, taught by a DPS trouper. It's not coincidence that one "took" better than the rest and many years passed before I found myself again in the classroom. I've done the comedy club routine - which was painful. Comedian-wanna-be's teaching unfunny material. I've actually tried this one in various mediums. Then I tried the DD/Dinner specials - which always seemed to be hosted in the local greasy spoons. I've done on-line DD several times. You may be noticing that DD has not cured me of my speeding ways.

It's not that I don't know how to drive safely, defensively, slowly.... I seriously think the gentlemen in blue who patrol the road between here and my old residence in Lago Vista have missed me. I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in the years since I moved away until.... I took my Mustang out for a spin one Sunday morning, trying to juggle church services. My wonderful husband was giving witness to his prison ministry at our old church and my wonderful son was running the projector at our new church. I told hubby I'd be there at the 8 am and 10:30 am services, and I told son I'd get him to the 10:30 am service and at some point during the 8 am service I discovered the 10:30 am service began at 10! So, I was hustling to get home sooner rather than later in order to get our son to church and myself back to church...you get the picture?

Tired of reading? Listen to the entire course with our audio read-along feature.

I've tried deferred adjudication, and it's not a bad way to go. I can't remember now why I didn't opt for that... oh yeah! it takes longer to process at the court. You have to meet with the DA. I was gearing up for my trip to Asia when I got the ticket, and I'd just returned when I went to the courthouse. I sure didn't anticipate the job change. Now I'm just trying to grind through the mandatory 6 hours of timed spurts of attention. If I let my attention wander too far, I'll time out and have to backtrack. At least the quiz questions for this particular on-line training have been all common-sense and not "are you paying attention?" I hated the last one where they asked things like "what color shirt was the driver wearing?"

One new twist with the course I'm taking now is that they offered (and I accepted) to acquire the copy of my driving record. It seems like they're charging 2.5X the rate I'd pay if I could be bothered to find the office and make the request in person - and it is well worth the cost!

I just read the section on aggressive driving. I don't consider myself aggressive...maybe assertive. Mostly in a hurry. Not hateful. I don't flip the bird, I don't honk, I don't call names (much). But, my goal is that someday people won't flip the bird at me or call me names. That would be good. Of all of the bad behavior listed, texting my sister with slug bug sightings and driving too fast are my primary faults. Text messaging is a new one on the list of road challenges. I don't remember that even being mentioned the last time I took DD.
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Google yielded plenty of data that confirms this is a bad practice.

Tired of reading? Listen to the entire course with our audio read-along feature.

Did I mention that the particular flavor of on-line DD that I've pursued offers a $10 upgrade to the illiterate? I'm amused that I could simply blog and let the course run as background noise.

Part I is over. I'll pick up where I left off tomorrow.

Peace,

Getting my game on

As if training for a marathon I began a daily regimen of blogging. How can I be a writer if I don't write, right? The daily grind is not for the faint-hearted. You'd better be writing because you love writing. If you're escaping the real-world, the blog-world isn't different enough. Sometimes it's lonely here, sometimes I misunderstand others, and sometimes I'm misunderstood. I've found some lovely people I admire tremendously. I've seen good blogging and I've seen bad blogging. I'm still learning, growing, maturing.

As part of my training, I've invested in additional research. I noticed that a few of the folks I adore have been critiqued by Ask And Ye Shall Receive. Today I spent some time reviewing the reviews and studying what does or doesn't work. The FAQ page was especially helpful. Also, there's a review that provides tips, but the tips are buried in the midst of a ripping critique. The comments that follow (including lots of witty repartee by the ring of reviewers) are a study in psyche.

The kicker is the "How to Blog" post by Tony Pierce (a FAQ referral). The post is from June '04 and I guess it's so good they haven't thought to confirm that it follows its own recommended guidelines. This advice may be questionable as the advisor disregards his own advice. Too circular?

Examples:
"10. use spellcheck unless youre completely totally keeping it real." (look up "youre". Blogger doesn't catch it with spellcheck, but that doesn't make it right. Apostrophe's appear to be optional in Tony's post. And "similarilly" somehow escaped his spellchecker as well).
"25. dont use your real name" (blog credited to Tony Pierce)
And a final comment: "if you're going to ripoff/mimic/be inspired by one blogger make it raymi, shes perfect." Raymi disregards most of the sage advice given by Tony and the ring of rippin' reviewers. Most of the panned blogs were lambasted for punctuation, grammer, and/or other bastardization of the English language. Maybe the point is that you can make up for some sins by being stellar in content. Tony is (or was) the LA Times Blogs editor, so his suggestions should not be dismissed too quickly.

All in all I found some very useful suggestions and hopefully I can self-correct by learning from others. Eventually I will submit one or both of my blogs for the brutally honest feedback I can expect (and would accept no less).

Peace,

Buried deep within my memory

I was 16 and it was the summer of '81. I was working two jobs: mornings at one pool giving "water babies" swim lessons and afternoons/evenings at another pool as a lifeguard. The neighborhoods I worked in were middle- to upper-middle class. I spent all day, almost every day, in a Speedo style swim suit. I ate a can of tuna-in-water, a tomato and air-popped popcorn every day. That was it. I took up jogging. Living in a swimsuit is a great motivator for weight loss. By mid-summer I was tanned and thin and looking good. At least by Glamour standards. But what did I know? I was 16.

One evening, late in the summer, the pool where I lifeguarded had an after-hours party for the staff. There was an 18 year old boy there - a guest of another lifeguard. We hit it off and spent most of the evening chatting and flirting. I was very flattered to be getting that kind of attention. I definitely wasn't used to it. I remember thinking "He's so cute! And of all the girls here, he's interested in me!"

Looking back, I can't remember the details, but for some reason we both went to my house after the party. I parked in the driveway behind the house and he parked on the street in front of our neighbor's house. I passed through the house and told my parents I was going to his car to look at his car stereo. They asked questions, but I blew them off as only a 16YO can. It seems like it must have been around 11pm.

We sat in his car for a while chatting. Eventually we kissed. Then, he wanted more. But I didn't. We wrestled for a while and he taught me several submission techniques that would have made any bully proud. I thought I was strong. I was someone who did her own thing. I was a leader not a follower. Every time I tried to get out of the car he hurt me. Eventually I did what he wanted. And he let me go. Actually...he walked me to the door and kissed me. I was sick to my stomach. I had his stink on me and I wanted to shower for a week. I wanted to be left alone for a year. My head was reeling. I hadn't had a drop to drink but I might as well have. I was numb.

When I went inside (was it 1am? 2am?), my parents and older sister were waiting. Why was my sister allowed to wait up and be a part of that scene? I believe if she hadn't been there I might have told my parents but she was, and I didn't. They grounded me and I went to my room. It was a while before the story came out.

Ultimately, I count my blessings. I am lucky. Others are far less fortunate than I.

Better Things - The Kinks

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

Here's hoping all the days ahead
Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you.
Be an optimist instead,
And somehow happiness will find you.
Forget what happened yesterday,
I know that better things are on the way.

It's really good to see you rocking out
And having fun,
Living like you just begun.
Accept your life and what it brings.
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

I know you've got a lot of good things happening up ahead.
The past is gone it's all been said.
So here's to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things.

Photos by 14-yr-old "T". It brought on a moment of retro.

And because it made me laugh and cry:


This song transcends generations. This is not "T", but it's the best I could find on YouTube.

A Word of Warning

During my list trip to Malaysia I went for a long walk on a Sunday afternoon. This sign gave me pause. It seemed like a safe-enough neighborhood, but I guess you never know.

Why I want my camera with me at all times

I've mentioned missed opportunities, so I won't elaborate other than to say...I missed another one because I didn't have my camera with me. Hubby and I went to Academy and after we got out of the car he did a double-take at the truck next to us.
"What?"
"I guess this guy's been hunting."

So I sneak a peak and sure enough... In the bed of this pickup-truck is the head of a deer. Or more accurately, the head of a buck. Unless does have antlers. I'm not expert, and the "telling" parts were not in evidence. The head jutted out of an empty (well, mostly empty) bag of potting soil.

And, as I mentioned, I had no camera with me. I thought about buying a disposable camera, but the guy was gone when we got back out to our car, so that's a moot point.

In the absence of an actual photo, I thought I'd share the following tale:

"A lady told of a man driving down the interstate with a dog hanging on to the tailgate for dear life. She said if he hadn't been going so fast in the other direction she would have tried to stop him. A few weeks later her son saw this truck at the Bass Pro Shop! It's a taxidermist! THIS IS REALLY IN DAPHNE ALABAMA !"



I can't speak to the voracity of the story but a picture's worth 1,000 words, wouldn't you say?

Outrageously Expensive Sunglasses

Before I begin, I should mention a few things that are relevant:

1) I am cheap. I do not easily part with hard-earned money.

2) I am even more reluctant to spend money on myself. I come from generations of female martyrs.

3) An expensive luxury item???? For myself???? Are you insane???

Introducing:

Replacing:

If these are looking like Walgreen's clip-ons over a pair of specs, then the sparkle isn't masking reality.

The new shades (GUCCI for cryin' out loud!) were purchased in the morning on the day I was told of my lay-off/transition to a new job. And what I love is that my reaction (when I was told), for just a flicker, was "at least I'll be looking stylish in my new shades". Whoo-wah for me! Every now and then, we just gotta shake it and know we're worth it.

This pair of sunglasses cost more than what I'd spent on all prior shades combined. Because I'm an engineer, I'm frugal, and I'm practical: it is worth mentioning that they are great! They fit close to my face so I'm squint-free. The tint is light enough that I can wear them inside without looking like I need a white cane. They fit well-enough that I can wear them like a head-band when I'm shopping (I've lost 2 pairs of Rx shades in stores!! Stolen within minutes of realizing they were no longer tucked in my collar). Ok. Nuff about shades.

Revenge of the belled cat

Al has made clear his opinion of the new bell. He is not a fan. I have explained to him "I am not the one! I did not choose this path! I was okay with trapping your wild a@@ inside for the winter." However, in fairness to my loving hubby, who is currently tearing out and rebuilding our pond and therefore traipsing in and out of the house, trapping the wild a@@ inside is no small feat. And since he has to also deal with the "prizes" which Al brings in, I defer to his judgment on the best recourse for The Killer Cat.

Meanwhile, I am getting the teenager looks from Al. Malevolent, baleful "I hate you" stares, as if this is somehow my doing. And this morning....this morning he artfully jingled and jangled at every turn for about 30 minutes until I finally, finally rolled out of bed and greeted the day.

Because I'm a geek

My sister's most recent post included the amazon.com image shown below:

This post is entirely based on my itch to determine whether you can click to look inside. Wish me luck!

The cat has been belled

Æsop. (Sixth century B.C.) Fables.The Harvard Classics. 1909–14.

Belling the Cat

LONG ago, the mice had a general council to consider what measures they could take to outwit their common enemy, the Cat. Some said this, and some said that; but at last a young mouse got up and said he had a proposal to make, which he thought would meet the case. “You will all agree,” said he, “that our chief danger consists in the sly and treacherous manner in which the enemy approaches us. Now, if we could receive some signal of her approach, we could easily escape from her. I venture, therefore, to propose that a small bell be procured, and attached by a ribbon round the neck of the Cat. By this means we should always know when she was about, and could easily retire while she was in the neighbourhood.”

This proposal met with general applause, until an old mouse got up and said: “That is all very well, but who is to bell the Cat?” The mice looked at one another and nobody spoke. Then the old mouse said:

“IT IS EASY TO PROPOSE IMPOSSIBLE REMEDIES.”

If you find a way to bell the cat and a little bell doesn't do the job, get a bigger bell. The critters who visit our yard have an advocate in my loving hubby. Alabaster has been belled. We'll see if this cuts down on the "offerings".

Peace,

Another Alabaster story: the tale of the critter

If you read my last post, you might be left wondering if the killer cat knows no bounds. I've wondered about it myself. I can tell you that there are limits to the critters he will tackle. Here's the story:

Last Monday I was up early, ready to start my new job. When, during the course of my usual routine, I went to let Al out....I discovered chaos in our sunroom. A 7 ft plant was knocked over, among other obvious disarray. The room stank. There was poop everywhere! Silly as it seems now, I was eyeing the cat wondering what had possessed him.
What is not obvious is how skittish Al was acting. And he was very much interested in something under the fallen plant. I'm not at my most alert at this early hour so it took me several cups of coffee and trips to the sun room to study the situation and conclude that whatever had done all of this damage was still in the sun room. Apparently something was in the room when I locked up before bed Sunday night.

I started to investigate using my super spy equipment - putting the camera on the floor to take pictures under the furniture, etc. to look in hard-to-reach spaces without actually having to put my face in the line of attack in case the critter freaked when we saw each other.
Finally I found him! The raccoon had snuggled himself into the space between the screen and the sunroom wall. By now, my loving hubby was up and I brought him into the action. He got one of our live traps (the one that has an entrance AND an exit - I've always wondered about that) and a broom and proceeded to shoo the 'coon out from behind the screen and into the trap.

The raccoon got it half right. He went into the trap and out the other side, ran across the room and disappeared into the catfood bin (the one with the poop on top) that happened to be empty.
And here's the raccoon stupefied by the series of events that led to this predicament. No matter how bad a day you're having, it probably won't include getting trapped in a catfood bin. I have an entire other set of photos of hubby's efforts to get the 'coon out of the catfood bin and into the other live trap (that doesn't have an exit), but I missed the funniest one of him holding the catfood bin upside down over the trap with the raccoon hanging on for dear life. I was laughing too hard. In the end, he hauled off the critter in the bin (handed off to animal control).

Some of you may want to yell at me for having such a lovely back yard that hosts so many critters, and expecting them to know to stay out of my sunroom. The rules are clearly posted in the yard, and all guests are expected to comply. Everyone is welcome to come and visit, but don't run around knocking over plants and pooping everywhere!

Oh- and the critter under the fallen plant, the one that Al kept pestering me about? It turned out to be an itty-bitty lizard.

Peace,

One Photo Op I'm glad to have missed

In case you haven't met him, this is Alabaster.

Alabaster, aka Al, has many nicknames. I often refer to him as my lapdog because of his tendency to follow me around and to want to sit on my lap, no matter what. The latest addition to his aliases is "The Killer Cat". As in "What are we going to do about the killer cat?" This was the greeting from my husband yesterday morning. My husband was greeted by the photo op I'm glad to have missed. Apparently after I let Al out for his morning constitutional he caught a rabbit. Well, he is a cat. Last weekend, the inevitable happened. Even though I had told Al I didn't ever, ever, ever want him to harm a cardinal, he brought one into the house. We released the young female (I think she was one of the siblings I've been keeping an eye on) with a damaged wing and thigh/leg. At this point, her whereabouts and state-of-being are unknown.

Later that day, I went out to journal. I needed some time to mourn and ponder. I've been watching this family of cardinals all summer. I've noted parallels in the drama of child-rearing. Not to say my kids are birds, but sometimes they are a bit flighty. When I went out to my quiet area in the far back part of the yard, I found Al lurking, patiently waiting....

I don't know exactly how long I was out there, but I got up several times and took pictures, wandered in and out and around...and through it all Al lurked. "I could stay here forever."

Yesterday morning was the 2nd time in a week my husband removed wildlife from our front living room. I didn't get a picture of the cardinal because the drama played out very quickly ("Honey, I think Al's caught something!" Then a quick capture/release.) I don't think my husband's as attached to the birds as I am. The bunny, though...that's another story. Plus, he indicated it had been a massacre. I know there were little tufts of bunny fur in evidence.

And no...there won't be pictures posted. Is it too late to make Al an indoor cat?

I wish I could take a picture

There have been many times (since I've begun to post regularly) that I've thought "I wish I could take a picture of that." When we were in PA, there was a street sign that said "High DUI Crash Area". That would have made for a fun post.

The Houston airport provided a plethora of photo-ops....all missed opportunities. I'm not a paparazzo. It's awkward to blatantly take pictures of oddballs people that I might consider post-worthy. Especially if I'm in the company of my "What are you doing?" loving-hubby.

Mostly I am not quite quick enough, or I don't have my camera with me. At the moment, I'm distracting myself in a meeting. Here I am in my new role (which is really my old role, new company), representing my new company, with about 30 folks from my old company, most of whom are head-down in their notebook computers or nodding off, reviewing action items and assigning owners. I just set myself up in Facebook so I can IM my team members. The first pleasant surprise was that my cousin was listed as one of the thousands of folks I might be interested in contacting! I'm not sure if that was just an amazing coincidence or if Facebook is magical. Divine intervention? I wish I'd could have taken a picture of my own reaction. And that, my friends, is a first.